1 00:00:06,888 --> 00:00:07,919 PREVIOUSLY ON "BUNHEADS"... 2 00:00:07,919 --> 00:00:09,160 I THINK I FORGOT TO FINISH HIGH SCHOOL. 3 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:11,022 I'M A DROPOUT. NOT EVEN A DROPOUT-- 4 00:00:11,022 --> 00:00:12,694 DROPPING OUT IMPLIES ACTION. 5 00:00:12,694 --> 00:00:14,826 I JUST... DIDN'T FINISH. 6 00:00:14,826 --> 00:00:17,168 MY DAD AND FAYE MENDELSON SET THE WEDDING LOCATION. 7 00:00:17,168 --> 00:00:19,570 - FUN. - IT'S THE SAME PLACE HE MARRIED MY MOM. 8 00:00:19,570 --> 00:00:20,932 NO WAY. 9 00:00:20,932 --> 00:00:23,504 THE DAY I LOST MY HUSBAND WAS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE. 10 00:00:23,504 --> 00:00:26,978 OF COURSE I LOST HIM TO THE DIVORCEE IN THE JEGGINGS ACROSS THE STREET. 11 00:00:26,978 --> 00:00:28,739 - SO WHAT'S UP WITH CHARLIE? - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 12 00:00:28,739 --> 00:00:30,882 WHAT DID HE DO TO MAKE HER DUMP HIM? 13 00:00:30,882 --> 00:00:33,084 NOTHING. HE WAS TOTALLY SMITTEN. 14 00:00:33,084 --> 00:00:34,845 ( gasps ) 15 00:00:34,845 --> 00:00:35,846 HERE'S TO BEING DUMB. 16 00:00:35,846 --> 00:00:37,788 I HAVE A MASTERS IN OCEANOGRAPHY. 17 00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:39,890 SO THEY LET HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS GET PhDS? 18 00:00:39,890 --> 00:00:41,952 I DIDN'T SAY I WAS A HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUT. 19 00:00:41,952 --> 00:00:43,924 I'M GUESSING THAT YOU AND ME TONIGHT, WE'RE NOT-- 20 00:00:43,924 --> 00:00:45,726 NO. NOT TONIGHT. 21 00:00:45,726 --> 00:00:47,428 WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM? MAYBE YOU CAN UN-SAY IT. 22 00:00:47,428 --> 00:00:48,959 - IN A BETTER OUTFIT. - DID HE SAY SOMETHING BAD TO YOU? 23 00:00:51,932 --> 00:00:53,504 SAW YOUR MOVES. 24 00:00:53,504 --> 00:00:54,965 BARTENDER, THE GIRL. 25 00:00:54,965 --> 00:00:56,637 I THINK YOU MIGHT DIG IT. 26 00:00:59,169 --> 00:01:01,712 FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT. 27 00:01:09,149 --> 00:01:10,681 STOP. 28 00:01:10,681 --> 00:01:14,054 EVERYONE, JUST STOP. 29 00:01:14,054 --> 00:01:17,588 YOU JUST KILLED BARYSHNIKOV. 30 00:01:17,588 --> 00:01:19,690 ( exhales ) 31 00:01:19,690 --> 00:01:21,491 WELL, WOULD YOU MIND SHOWING US THE COMBINATION 32 00:01:21,491 --> 00:01:22,593 AGAIN, JORDAN? 33 00:01:22,593 --> 00:01:23,834 OH, SURE. 34 00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:25,235 WHAT HAVE I GOT BUT LOADS OF TIME 35 00:01:25,235 --> 00:01:26,837 AND SINCERE ENTHUSIASM 36 00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,699 TO SHOW YOU THE SAME FREAKING THING 37 00:01:28,699 --> 00:01:30,640 OVER AND OVER AGAIN? 38 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:31,671 MOVE. 39 00:01:45,715 --> 00:01:46,716 DO THAT. 40 00:01:51,691 --> 00:01:52,892 THEY KILL BARYSHNIKOV AGAIN? 41 00:01:52,892 --> 00:01:54,164 YEP. 42 00:01:54,164 --> 00:01:55,965 I JUST NEED TO DO SOMETHING ON THE COMPUTER HERE. 43 00:01:55,965 --> 00:01:58,698 I'LL BE SUPER QUICK. QUIET AS A MOUSE. 44 00:01:58,698 --> 00:02:00,900 ( computer dings ) 45 00:02:00,900 --> 00:02:02,772 FROM NOW ON, JORDAN, SIR. 46 00:02:04,934 --> 00:02:05,905 LET'S TRY IT AGAIN, EVERYONE. 47 00:02:05,905 --> 00:02:07,877 FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT. 48 00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:09,909 SHARPER, RAY-RAY. 49 00:02:11,911 --> 00:02:14,183 CLEANER, GINNY. CLEANER. 50 00:02:14,183 --> 00:02:15,915 BE SMALLER, BOO. 51 00:02:15,915 --> 00:02:18,187 - SMALLER? - DON'T TALK BACK. 52 00:02:18,187 --> 00:02:20,850 MATISSE, STOP. STOP! 53 00:02:20,850 --> 00:02:22,522 FOCUS, OKAY. 54 00:02:22,522 --> 00:02:23,853 WITHOUT FOCUS, YOUR LIFE IS GONNA BE JUMPING 55 00:02:23,853 --> 00:02:25,795 FROM ALCOHOLIC BOYFRIEND TO ANOTHER. 56 00:02:25,795 --> 00:02:27,056 IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? 57 00:02:27,056 --> 00:02:28,958 I DON'T THINK SO. 58 00:02:28,958 --> 00:02:30,600 HEY, JORDAN, LET'S TAKE FIVE HERE. 59 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:31,901 THEY LOOK LIKE THEY NEED A BREAK. 60 00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:34,834 WHEN DON'T THEY? TAKE FIVE. 61 00:02:34,834 --> 00:02:36,766 JORDAN, YOUR GROUP IS WILTING HERE. 62 00:02:36,766 --> 00:02:37,767 AND THE KIDS IN THE CORNER, 63 00:02:37,767 --> 00:02:38,838 WHAT'S UP WITH THEM? 64 00:02:38,838 --> 00:02:39,839 THEY WANTED TO STRETCH BEFORE CLASS. 65 00:02:39,839 --> 00:02:40,840 I MEAN, COME ON. 66 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:42,041 "BE SMALLER." 67 00:02:42,041 --> 00:02:43,112 WHAT A JERK. 68 00:02:43,112 --> 00:02:44,774 I HATE HIM SO MUCH. 69 00:02:44,774 --> 00:02:45,845 ME TOO. 70 00:02:45,845 --> 00:02:47,176 BUT I'M ALSO IN LOVE WITH HIM. 71 00:02:47,176 --> 00:02:48,247 ME TOO. 72 00:02:48,247 --> 00:02:49,849 - BUT NOT ANYMORE. - SAME HERE. 73 00:02:49,849 --> 00:02:51,720 HE'S SO INSANE TODAY. HE HASN'T EVEN NOTICED 74 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:53,152 - THAT MELANIE ISN'T HERE. - WHY ISN'T SHE HERE? 75 00:02:53,152 --> 00:02:54,884 HE'S LOOKING. 76 00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:55,925 - THEY'RE BEING BABIED AROUND. - ABSOLUTELY NOT. 77 00:02:55,925 --> 00:02:57,056 YOU'RE NOT CHALLENGING THEM ENOUGH. 78 00:02:57,056 --> 00:02:58,587 YOU CAN SEE IT IN THEIR DANCING, 79 00:02:58,587 --> 00:02:59,758 THEIR BARRE WORK, THEIR LEGS, 80 00:02:59,758 --> 00:03:00,960 - THEIR POSTURE. - JORDAN. 81 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:02,291 EVERYTHING THEY DO, IT'S NOT CORRECT. 82 00:03:02,291 --> 00:03:04,993 WE'RE TALKING A BREAK. WE'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG. 83 00:03:04,993 --> 00:03:07,266 BASTARD'S GOTTEN INTO MY HEAD. 84 00:03:07,266 --> 00:03:09,598 SASHA'S AWOL TOO, BY THE WAY. 85 00:03:09,598 --> 00:03:10,869 WELL, I KNOW WHERE SHE IS. 86 00:03:10,869 --> 00:03:12,141 APARTMENT HUNTING, AND SHE FOUND ONE. 87 00:03:12,141 --> 00:03:13,902 - REALLY? - IN THAT BUILDING HER AUNT OWNS. 88 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,574 - SHE MOVES IN NEXT WEEK. - WHO'S SHE LIVING WITH? 89 00:03:15,574 --> 00:03:16,675 NO ONE. IT'S JUST HER. 90 00:03:16,675 --> 00:03:17,946 HER OWN APARTMENT? 91 00:03:17,946 --> 00:03:19,848 I USED TO DREAM ABOUT GETTING MARRIED TO JORDAN 92 00:03:19,848 --> 00:03:21,850 AND LIVING IN OUR OWN APARTMENT. 93 00:03:21,850 --> 00:03:23,812 KISSING HIM ON THE CHEEK WHEN HE COMES HOME, 94 00:03:23,812 --> 00:03:25,814 AND MAKING DINNER FOR HIM EVERY NIGHT. 95 00:03:25,814 --> 00:03:27,586 - BUT NOT ANYMORE. - SAME HERE. 96 00:03:27,586 --> 00:03:29,117 HE'S BEEN A JERK FOREVER, MATISSE. 97 00:03:29,117 --> 00:03:30,789 ARE YOU JUST CATCHING UP? 98 00:03:30,789 --> 00:03:33,191 - ( phone ringing ) - BOO, THAT'S YOUR PHONE. 99 00:03:33,191 --> 00:03:35,193 - Michelle: LET'S NOT GET INTO MY BACKGROUND. - Jordan: NONE OF THEM ARE ME. 100 00:03:35,193 --> 00:03:36,625 THEY DON'T WANT TO BE YOU. 101 00:03:36,625 --> 00:03:38,296 WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO BE ME? 102 00:03:38,296 --> 00:03:40,128 MOM, HEY, I'M AT CLASS SO MAKE IT QUICK. 103 00:03:40,128 --> 00:03:42,200 THE TV FELL OVER? 104 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,873 DID IT FALL ON ANYONE? 105 00:03:44,873 --> 00:03:46,875 HOW CAN YOU NOT BE SURE? 106 00:03:46,875 --> 00:03:48,136 BETTER NOT LET HIM SEE YOU. 107 00:03:48,136 --> 00:03:49,678 I KNOW YOU CAN DO THAT. I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT. 108 00:03:49,678 --> 00:03:50,939 I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT. I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT. 109 00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:51,980 PLEASE STOP DOING THAT! 110 00:03:51,980 --> 00:03:53,742 SO JUST LONNIE IS MISSING? 111 00:03:53,742 --> 00:03:55,143 WELL, DO YOU SEE ANY PARTS OF LONNIE 112 00:03:55,143 --> 00:03:56,815 STICKING OUT FROM UNDER THE TV? 113 00:03:56,815 --> 00:03:58,686 YEAH, I'LL WAIT. 114 00:03:58,686 --> 00:03:59,918 UH, BOO? 115 00:03:59,918 --> 00:04:01,749 SO HE'S THERE. GOOD. 116 00:04:01,749 --> 00:04:03,191 - GOOD. THIS IS GOOD. - ( mouths words ) 117 00:04:03,191 --> 00:04:06,194 BOO. 118 00:04:06,194 --> 00:04:08,026 WERE YOU TALKING ON YOUR PHONE? 119 00:04:08,026 --> 00:04:09,857 - NO. - ( yelling, thumping ) 120 00:04:09,857 --> 00:04:12,800 WAIT, WHAT IS THAT? IS THAT SCREAMING? 121 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:14,662 IT'S GRANT AND DOMINIK. THEY'RE LOCKED IN THE DRESSING ROOM. 122 00:04:14,662 --> 00:04:16,404 - WHY? - THEY KNOW WHY. 123 00:04:16,404 --> 00:04:17,865 ( sighs ) I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 124 00:04:17,865 --> 00:04:19,737 GATHER AROUND. NEXT STEP. 125 00:04:24,342 --> 00:04:25,413 DO THAT. 126 00:04:31,879 --> 00:04:33,881 ( sighs ) 127 00:04:37,985 --> 00:04:40,988 ( theme music playing ) 128 00:05:03,881 --> 00:05:04,982 - ( whistle blows ) - GO! 129 00:05:08,916 --> 00:05:12,219 PICK UP YOUR FEET. GO GO GO GO. 130 00:05:12,219 --> 00:05:13,821 BEND THOSE KNEES. 131 00:05:13,821 --> 00:05:16,423 IT'S NOT BALLET CLASS, COME ON! LET'S GO. 132 00:05:16,423 --> 00:05:18,095 KEEP THE LINE IN THE MIDDLE. 133 00:05:18,095 --> 00:05:19,997 I DON'T WANT US STRAGGLING IN THE FRONT. 134 00:05:19,997 --> 00:05:21,798 KEEP IT GOING. 135 00:05:21,798 --> 00:05:25,232 GO GO GO! 136 00:05:25,232 --> 00:05:26,733 ALL RIGHT, PICK UP YOUR FEET. 137 00:05:26,733 --> 00:05:28,905 COME ON, LOW. DERBY STANCE. 138 00:05:28,905 --> 00:05:30,437 NICE FEET, LOLITA. 139 00:05:30,437 --> 00:05:32,038 COME ON. 140 00:05:33,740 --> 00:05:35,342 ( whistle blows ) 141 00:05:35,342 --> 00:05:36,913 ALL RIGHT. 142 00:05:39,746 --> 00:05:41,147 YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING FOR TWO DAYS, 143 00:05:41,147 --> 00:05:42,749 YOU WANT TO GIVE IT A SHOT? 144 00:05:42,749 --> 00:05:43,750 ( grunting ) 145 00:05:47,023 --> 00:05:50,056 SURE. 146 00:05:56,433 --> 00:05:58,034 - YOU'RE LATE. - SO IS EVERYONE ELSE. 147 00:05:58,034 --> 00:05:59,766 THEY CALLED. YOU DIDN'T. 148 00:05:59,766 --> 00:06:01,407 I WAS AT BALLET. MICHELLE KEPT US OVER. 149 00:06:01,407 --> 00:06:02,909 THEN I'LL COMPLAIN TO MICHELLE. 150 00:06:02,909 --> 00:06:04,510 SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG, 151 00:06:04,510 --> 00:06:05,942 SO DON'T CALL HER. 152 00:06:05,942 --> 00:06:08,945 HERE. SOMETHING TO ENTERTAIN YOU UNTIL THEY COME. 153 00:06:08,945 --> 00:06:10,847 - DAD-- - DON'T SAY IT'S TOO EARLY. 154 00:06:10,847 --> 00:06:12,518 I TOTALLY IS. I'M BARELY INTO MY JUNIOR YEAR. 155 00:06:12,518 --> 00:06:14,420 WE KNOW PEOPLE WHO PLANNED THEIR KIDS' COLLEGE 156 00:06:14,420 --> 00:06:16,422 - AT KINDERGARTEN. - THAT'S A SICKNESS. 157 00:06:16,422 --> 00:06:18,154 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE YOUR KEYS. 158 00:06:18,154 --> 00:06:19,886 I PARKED MY OWN CAR. 159 00:06:19,886 --> 00:06:21,888 AFTER RUNNING IT THROUGH THE VALET AREA. 160 00:06:21,888 --> 00:06:23,359 IS THAT WHY ALL THOSE CHINESE GUYS 161 00:06:23,359 --> 00:06:24,961 WERE STARING AT ME? 162 00:06:24,961 --> 00:06:26,893 - HEY, CLAIRE. - HI, GUYS. 163 00:06:26,893 --> 00:06:28,094 - HEY, GINNY. - HI, MR. SEGAL. 164 00:06:28,094 --> 00:06:29,235 WHERE'S ALICE? 165 00:06:29,235 --> 00:06:30,366 SHE'S DOWN FOR THE COUNT. 166 00:06:30,366 --> 00:06:31,968 SHE'S GOT THIS AWFUL COLD. 167 00:06:31,968 --> 00:06:32,969 MOM HAS A COLD? 168 00:06:34,070 --> 00:06:36,042 CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK, CLAIRE? 169 00:06:36,042 --> 00:06:38,044 I'D LOVE A DRINK. 170 00:06:38,044 --> 00:06:39,445 CAN YOU DO A GAY MARINE? 171 00:06:39,445 --> 00:06:41,907 YOU JUST MUDDLE SOME MINT LEAVES AND SOME LIME 172 00:06:41,907 --> 00:06:43,779 WITH CANE SUGAR AND ORANGE LIQUEUR 173 00:06:43,779 --> 00:06:45,481 AND THEN YOU ADD SOME ICE AND SOME RUM 174 00:06:45,481 --> 00:06:47,012 AND YOU TOP IT ALL WITH APPLE JUICE. 175 00:06:47,012 --> 00:06:48,053 IT'S A CHINESE RESTAURANT, MOM. 176 00:06:48,053 --> 00:06:49,515 THEY DON'T DO GAY MARINES. 177 00:06:49,515 --> 00:06:52,157 WHITE WINE IS OKAY, I GUESS. 178 00:06:52,157 --> 00:06:53,889 I'LL HAVE WHATEVER YOU HAVE ON TAP. 179 00:06:53,889 --> 00:06:55,891 WHITE WINE IS ACTUALLY GREAT. 180 00:06:55,891 --> 00:06:57,923 YOU'RE IN A CHIPPER MOOD, CLAIRE. 181 00:06:57,923 --> 00:06:59,224 I AM. 182 00:06:59,224 --> 00:07:00,866 BECAUSE... 183 00:07:00,866 --> 00:07:03,899 I AM NOT GONNA LET IT GET ME DOWN. 184 00:07:03,899 --> 00:07:05,371 LET WHAT GET YOU DOWN? 185 00:07:05,371 --> 00:07:07,873 HERE WE GO. 186 00:07:07,873 --> 00:07:10,906 HELLO, GINNY'S FATHER IS MARRYING FAYE MENDELSON 187 00:07:10,906 --> 00:07:11,907 IN LESS THAN A WEEK. 188 00:07:11,907 --> 00:07:13,408 YEAH, WE'RE GOING. 189 00:07:13,408 --> 00:07:14,810 YOU ARE? 190 00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:16,141 IF THAT'S OKAY? 191 00:07:16,141 --> 00:07:18,243 OH, OF COURSE IT IS. 192 00:07:18,243 --> 00:07:19,444 I WANT YOU TO GO, DOUGIE, 193 00:07:19,444 --> 00:07:21,046 REALLY I DO. 194 00:07:21,046 --> 00:07:22,848 SO HOW'S THE REAL-ESTATE BUSINESS 195 00:07:22,848 --> 00:07:24,049 TREATING YOU THESE DAYS, CLAIRE? 196 00:07:24,049 --> 00:07:26,021 - I HEAR IT'S, YOU KNOW-- - HAVE YOU SEEN... 197 00:07:26,021 --> 00:07:29,454 THAT INSANE WEDDING BLOG THAT THEY HAVE? 198 00:07:29,454 --> 00:07:31,226 - NO, NOT ME. - YES, I HAVE. MANY TIMES. 199 00:07:31,226 --> 00:07:34,159 FAYE MENDELSON IS CHRONICLING THEIR WHOLE STUPID LIFE 200 00:07:34,159 --> 00:07:35,360 ON THIS BLOG 201 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,502 WITH PHOTOGRAPHS AND DIARY ENTRIES. 202 00:07:37,502 --> 00:07:39,564 GIL IS SURFING NOW 203 00:07:39,564 --> 00:07:42,237 AND THE MAN IS 45. 204 00:07:42,237 --> 00:07:44,039 HE'S STARTING TO SURF. 205 00:07:44,039 --> 00:07:45,240 HE LIKES IT, MOM. 206 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:46,511 AND ALL THOSE PHOTOS OF FAYE 207 00:07:46,511 --> 00:07:48,173 CUDDLING HER DOG LIKE THAT, 208 00:07:48,173 --> 00:07:51,176 IT'S JUST BESTIAL. CALL THE SPCA. 209 00:07:51,176 --> 00:07:52,617 ( chuckles ) 210 00:07:52,617 --> 00:07:54,379 WHAT'S SO FUNNY? 211 00:07:54,379 --> 00:07:57,322 NOTHING. I GUESS. 212 00:07:57,322 --> 00:07:59,984 MOM. YOU'RE BEING BUSTED BY THE VALET POLICE. 213 00:07:59,984 --> 00:08:01,526 BRING 'EM ON. 214 00:08:01,526 --> 00:08:03,157 COME ON, CLAIRE. LET'S GO GIVE THEM YOUR KEYS 215 00:08:03,157 --> 00:08:05,890 BEFORE THIS BECOMES AN INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT. 216 00:08:05,890 --> 00:08:07,562 ALL RIGHT. 217 00:08:07,562 --> 00:08:09,294 YOU'RE REALLY GOING TO THE WEDDING, DOUGIE? 218 00:08:09,294 --> 00:08:11,035 I MEAN, I KNOW YOU KNEW HIM FIRST, 219 00:08:11,035 --> 00:08:12,437 BUT HE'S CHANGED SO MUCH. 220 00:08:12,437 --> 00:08:14,569 - WOW. - SHE'S ON THAT BLOG NIGHT AND DAY 221 00:08:14,569 --> 00:08:16,541 COMMENTING ANONYMOUSLY. 222 00:08:16,541 --> 00:08:18,042 THE WEBSITE BLOCKS DIRTY WORDS, 223 00:08:18,042 --> 00:08:19,243 OR THERE WOULD BE SOME SAUCY THINGS 224 00:08:19,243 --> 00:08:21,375 WRITTEN ABOUT THOSE DOGS. BELIEVE ME. 225 00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:23,578 OH, CHECK THIS OUT. 226 00:08:23,578 --> 00:08:24,909 WHAT IS THAT? A BOX? 227 00:08:24,909 --> 00:08:26,380 THAT'S MY BRIDESMAID DRESS. 228 00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:28,112 - THIS HAS GOT TO BE A MISTAKE. - IT'S NOT. 229 00:08:28,112 --> 00:08:29,914 IT'S A GIANT RECTANGLE, WHY? 230 00:08:29,914 --> 00:08:32,056 BECAUSE EVERY TIME I GO TO MY DAD AND FAYE'S PLACE, 231 00:08:32,056 --> 00:08:33,257 FAYE STARES AT MY BOOBS. 232 00:08:33,257 --> 00:08:34,889 SHE TOLD MY DAD THAT THEY REMIND HER 233 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:36,590 OF MY MOM'S BOOBS AND SHE DOESN'T WANT TO BE REMINDED 234 00:08:36,590 --> 00:08:37,992 OF MY MOM'S BOOBS AT THE WEDDING. 235 00:08:37,992 --> 00:08:39,924 SO SHE'S FORCING ME TO WEAR A DRESS 236 00:08:39,924 --> 00:08:41,065 SHAPED LIKE A SHOWER CURTAIN. 237 00:08:41,065 --> 00:08:42,526 CRUEL AND UNUSUAL. 238 00:08:42,526 --> 00:08:44,528 ( sighs ) I DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT IT ANYMORE. 239 00:08:44,528 --> 00:08:45,900 SO WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? 240 00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:46,971 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 241 00:08:46,971 --> 00:08:47,972 I MEAN WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? 242 00:08:47,972 --> 00:08:48,973 I NEVER SEE YOU ANYMORE. 243 00:08:48,973 --> 00:08:50,404 I SEE YOU EVERY DAY AT SCHOOL. 244 00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:51,906 YOU'RE SKIPPING BALLET. YOU DON'T ANSWER MY TEXTS. 245 00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:53,507 DAD'S GOT ME TOURING COLLEGES. 246 00:08:53,507 --> 00:08:55,309 - REALLY? - WE JUST GOT BACK FROM DRIVING AROUND 247 00:08:55,309 --> 00:08:56,580 U.C. SANTA BARBARA. 248 00:08:56,580 --> 00:08:57,911 - REALLY? - YEAH. 249 00:08:57,911 --> 00:08:59,583 OKAY, WELL AT LEAST ANSWER MY TEXTS. 250 00:08:59,583 --> 00:09:00,914 SOME OF THEM ARE EVEN IMPORTANT. 251 00:09:00,914 --> 00:09:01,915 I WILL. I PROMISE. 252 00:09:01,915 --> 00:09:03,917 HERE. 253 00:09:03,917 --> 00:09:05,049 WHILE YOU HAVE A SHOT. 254 00:09:05,049 --> 00:09:06,150 GOOD THINKING. 255 00:09:15,459 --> 00:09:17,461 ( laughing ) 256 00:09:19,603 --> 00:09:21,465 OF ALL THE GIN JOINTS IN ALL THE TOWNS 257 00:09:21,465 --> 00:09:24,408 IN ALL THE WORLD, SHE HAS TO WALK INTO MINE. 258 00:09:24,408 --> 00:09:26,269 "CASABLANCA." 259 00:09:26,269 --> 00:09:27,571 I KNOW "CASABLANCA". 260 00:09:27,571 --> 00:09:29,573 - OKAY. - I'VE SEEN "CASABLANCA." 261 00:09:29,573 --> 00:09:31,374 I CAN SPELL CASABLANCA. 262 00:09:31,374 --> 00:09:32,646 I'VE BEEN TO CASABLANCA. 263 00:09:32,646 --> 00:09:34,047 I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE CUTE. 264 00:09:34,047 --> 00:09:35,178 I THOUGHT "HEY THERE" WOULD BE BORING 265 00:09:35,178 --> 00:09:36,179 SO I THOUGHT I'D THROW IN A-- 266 00:09:36,179 --> 00:09:38,582 NEVER MIND. STARTING AGAIN. 267 00:09:38,582 --> 00:09:40,724 - HEY THERE. - HEY. 268 00:09:40,724 --> 00:09:42,255 - FOR ME? - YEP. 269 00:09:42,255 --> 00:09:43,587 - GUILT GIFT? - YEP. 270 00:09:43,587 --> 00:09:44,728 I LIKE THE WRAPPING PAPER. 271 00:09:44,728 --> 00:09:46,259 IT'S MY 2004 TAX RETURN. 272 00:09:46,259 --> 00:09:47,290 NICE. 273 00:09:48,732 --> 00:09:50,663 "FINDING NEMO." 274 00:09:50,663 --> 00:09:52,035 SEE? IT'S THE PERFECT THING FOR US 275 00:09:52,035 --> 00:09:52,736 'CAUSE YOU'RE AN EXPERT ON THE OCEAN, 276 00:09:52,736 --> 00:09:54,267 AND I LIKE TALKING FISH. 277 00:09:54,267 --> 00:09:55,698 VERY NICE. THANK YOU. 278 00:09:57,070 --> 00:09:58,201 SORRY FOR WHAT I SAID. 279 00:09:58,201 --> 00:09:59,742 NO WORRIES. 280 00:09:59,742 --> 00:10:01,604 I TALK, THEREFORE I AM. 281 00:10:01,604 --> 00:10:03,246 NOT ALWAYS A BAD THING. 282 00:10:03,246 --> 00:10:05,348 CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK? 283 00:10:05,348 --> 00:10:07,550 YES, YOU CAN. 284 00:10:07,550 --> 00:10:09,252 SOMETHING WITH BOURBON AND AN UMBRELLA. 285 00:10:09,252 --> 00:10:10,313 ( laughing ) 286 00:10:10,313 --> 00:10:11,714 WHAT ARE THEY CELEBRATING? 287 00:10:11,714 --> 00:10:12,715 TUESDAY. 288 00:10:12,715 --> 00:10:14,557 MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY. 289 00:10:14,557 --> 00:10:16,489 - SO GUESS WHAT I DID? - SAFER NOT TO. 290 00:10:16,489 --> 00:10:17,720 I WENT ONLINE AND READ YOUR THESIS. 291 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:20,593 - YOU'RE KIDDING. - NO. 292 00:10:20,593 --> 00:10:21,724 ( chuckles ) I'M IMPRESSED. 293 00:10:21,724 --> 00:10:22,995 WELL, DON'T BE. I ONLY UNDERSTOOD 294 00:10:22,995 --> 00:10:24,397 ABOUT 1/10 OF IT. PLANKTON. 295 00:10:24,397 --> 00:10:25,728 I GOT THAT. AND YOUR NAME. 296 00:10:25,728 --> 00:10:27,470 AND I THINK YOU MENTIONED ORCA 297 00:10:27,470 --> 00:10:28,731 AND I DID SEE THAT MOVIE. 298 00:10:28,731 --> 00:10:30,072 THAT'S PROBABLY LESS THAN 1/10, RIGHT? 299 00:10:30,072 --> 00:10:31,404 DID I MENTION I DIDN'T FINISH HIGH SCHOOL? 300 00:10:31,404 --> 00:10:33,035 POINTS FOR TRYING. 301 00:10:35,207 --> 00:10:37,279 GUESS THAT ALCOHOL BUZZ IS STARTING TO WEAR OFF. 302 00:10:37,279 --> 00:10:39,412 YEP. NOW THEY ALL GET TIRED. 303 00:10:39,412 --> 00:10:41,343 AND THE ONE ON THE DIET EATS EVERY COLD FRENCH FRY 304 00:10:41,343 --> 00:10:42,415 SHE CAN FIND. 305 00:10:42,415 --> 00:10:43,486 THEY'LL PROBABLY LEAVE SOON. 306 00:10:43,486 --> 00:10:45,117 AND THEN YOU'LL BE ALL ALONE. 307 00:10:45,117 --> 00:10:46,749 MIGHT AS WELL JUST CLOSE. 308 00:10:46,749 --> 00:10:48,621 WITH THE WHOLE NIGHT AHEAD OF YOU? 309 00:10:48,621 --> 00:10:49,752 HOW WILL YOU FILL THE TIME? 310 00:10:52,194 --> 00:10:53,656 AND THEN I GOT INTO THIS WHOLE THING 311 00:10:53,656 --> 00:10:54,727 WITH THE LADY I WAS UNDERSTUDYING 312 00:10:54,727 --> 00:10:56,729 'CAUSE I STARTED DATING HER HUSBAND. 313 00:10:56,729 --> 00:10:59,261 THEY WERE SEPARATED-- WELL, HE SAID THEY WERE SEPARATED, 314 00:10:59,261 --> 00:11:00,602 BUT I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN SOMETHING WAS WEIRD 315 00:11:00,602 --> 00:11:02,264 WHEN HE NEVER LET ME COME OVER TO HIS HOUSE. 316 00:11:02,264 --> 00:11:05,067 I HAD TO GO TO THE CORNER OF SIXTH AND 53RD 317 00:11:05,067 --> 00:11:06,738 AND GET IN LINE AT THIS HALAL CART 318 00:11:06,738 --> 00:11:08,270 AND I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO MOVE 319 00:11:08,270 --> 00:11:09,812 TILL HE SHOWED UP AND DROPPED A NOTE IN MY PURSE 320 00:11:09,812 --> 00:11:12,074 TELLING ME WHICH HOTEL TO MEET HIM AT. 321 00:11:12,074 --> 00:11:13,475 AND SINCE I DIDN'T HAVE A PHONE NUMBER FOR HIM, 322 00:11:13,475 --> 00:11:14,816 IF HE WAS LATE, I JUST ORDERED, 323 00:11:14,816 --> 00:11:16,678 AND IF HE STILL DIDN'T SHOW I HAD TO EAT 324 00:11:16,678 --> 00:11:18,750 'CAUSE OTHERWISE I'M WEIRD. WHATEVER. 325 00:11:18,750 --> 00:11:20,482 THE POINT IS SHE FINALLY FOUND OUT, 326 00:11:20,482 --> 00:11:22,084 GOT MAD AND THEN NEVER MISSED A SHOW 327 00:11:22,084 --> 00:11:23,425 SO I NEVER GOT TO GO ON. 328 00:11:23,425 --> 00:11:25,427 PLUS I SMELLED LIKE GARLIC SAUCE THE ENTIRE RUN. 329 00:11:25,427 --> 00:11:27,089 THAT IS NOT A TRUE STORY. 330 00:11:27,089 --> 00:11:28,230 OKAY, FINE, YOU'RE RIGHT. 331 00:11:28,230 --> 00:11:29,631 IT WAS A MR. SOFTEE TRUCK. 332 00:11:29,631 --> 00:11:31,293 - ( chuckles ) - SCOTTY? 333 00:11:31,293 --> 00:11:33,465 YOU HAVE FLOWER POTS? WHO GAVE YOU FLOWER POTS? 334 00:11:33,465 --> 00:11:34,466 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 335 00:11:34,466 --> 00:11:35,667 YOU KILL FLOWER POTS. 336 00:11:35,667 --> 00:11:36,768 THE FLOWERS AND THE POTS. YOU WALK BY 337 00:11:36,768 --> 00:11:38,600 AND THEY FLING THEMSELVES OFF WINDOWSILLS. 338 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,602 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. ARE YOU A LOUNGE SINGER NOW? 339 00:11:40,602 --> 00:11:42,404 LONG STORIES TO HAVE BEER BY. 340 00:11:42,404 --> 00:11:44,306 WOW, I JUST-- 341 00:11:44,306 --> 00:11:46,408 OH, SORRY. THIS IS MY BROTHER SCOTTY. 342 00:11:46,408 --> 00:11:47,609 SCOTTY, THIS IS GODOT. 343 00:11:47,609 --> 00:11:49,080 WELL, HELLO, YOUNG MAN. 344 00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:50,412 I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU. 345 00:11:50,412 --> 00:11:51,753 COME IN, COME IN. 346 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:54,085 OH BOY, I-- 347 00:11:54,085 --> 00:11:55,687 IT'S OKAY. ANOTHER NIGHT. 348 00:11:55,687 --> 00:11:56,758 IT'S GOOD TO MEET YOU. 349 00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:58,289 YOU TOO. 350 00:11:59,621 --> 00:12:01,292 SERIOUSLY? EVEN MRS. ROBINSON'S 351 00:12:01,292 --> 00:12:02,293 GIVING YOU A WEIRD LOOK RIGHT NOW. 352 00:12:02,293 --> 00:12:03,765 I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN MADISON. 353 00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:06,097 WELL, A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO MADISON. 354 00:12:09,530 --> 00:12:10,872 SO, MADISON. 355 00:12:10,872 --> 00:12:12,674 RIGHT. SO I WAS ON MY WAY TO MADISON 356 00:12:12,674 --> 00:12:14,175 AND I STOPPED AT THIS DINER 357 00:12:14,175 --> 00:12:15,636 AND THERE WAS A HOSTESS. 358 00:12:15,636 --> 00:12:17,108 NOT EVEN A WAITRESS? 359 00:12:17,108 --> 00:12:18,509 A HOSTESS IS A STEP UP FROM A WAITRESS. 360 00:12:18,509 --> 00:12:19,841 NO. 361 00:12:19,841 --> 00:12:21,182 YOU'RE A WAITRESS FIRST AND THEN A HOSTESS. 362 00:12:21,182 --> 00:12:22,513 - IT'S A PROMOTION. - NOT AT ALL. 363 00:12:22,513 --> 00:12:23,845 WELL, SHE WAS A REDHEAD 364 00:12:23,845 --> 00:12:25,186 SO ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER. 365 00:12:25,186 --> 00:12:26,347 OH NO. YOU GOT MARRIED AGAIN? 366 00:12:26,347 --> 00:12:28,119 - NEVER MADE IT OUT OF TUPELO. - SCOTTY. 367 00:12:28,119 --> 00:12:29,320 I KNOW. I KNOW. 368 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:30,391 HOW MANY MARRIAGES DOES THIS MAKE? 369 00:12:30,391 --> 00:12:32,253 - FOUR? - YOU'RE ASKING ME? 370 00:12:32,253 --> 00:12:34,255 NO, FOUR. THIS MAKES FOUR. 371 00:12:34,255 --> 00:12:35,396 OH MY GOD. 372 00:12:35,396 --> 00:12:37,198 BUT YOU KNOW, SHE WAS DIFFERENT. 373 00:12:37,198 --> 00:12:39,200 - HOW? - SHE SPOKE VERY LITTLE ENGLISH. 374 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:40,401 PERFECT. 375 00:12:40,401 --> 00:12:42,333 BUT SHE HAD THESE EYES THAT WERE EPIC. 376 00:12:42,333 --> 00:12:44,205 I FELT IF I COULD JUST STARE IN THIS WOMAN'S EYES 377 00:12:44,205 --> 00:12:45,466 FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, 378 00:12:45,466 --> 00:12:47,208 I WOULD BE A VERY HAPPY MAN. 379 00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:49,210 SO WHAT HAPPENED? OOH, CAKE. 380 00:12:49,210 --> 00:12:51,211 WELL, THE FIRST MONTH WAS GREAT. 381 00:12:51,211 --> 00:12:52,743 AND THEN WE STARTED FIGHTING, 382 00:12:52,743 --> 00:12:54,275 AND THEN WE GOT ENGAGED, 383 00:12:54,275 --> 00:12:55,316 THEN WE FOUGHT SOME MORE, 384 00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:56,517 AND THEN I FOUND OUT SHE WORE 385 00:12:56,517 --> 00:12:57,848 COLORED CONTACT LENSES. 386 00:12:57,848 --> 00:12:59,650 THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED, BIG MISTAKE. 387 00:12:59,650 --> 00:13:01,251 WHAT ELSE WAS THERE TO THINK? 388 00:13:01,251 --> 00:13:02,423 NEXT THING I KNOW, IT'S THE DAY OF THE WEDDING 389 00:13:02,423 --> 00:13:04,184 I'M STANDING AT THE ALTAR IN MY RENTED TUX 390 00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:05,255 AND SHE'S HURTLING DOWN THE AISLE 391 00:13:05,255 --> 00:13:06,657 LIKE A GIANT CRINOLINE COMET, 392 00:13:06,657 --> 00:13:07,858 AND I'M THINKING TO MYSELF, 393 00:13:07,858 --> 00:13:09,530 "I HAVE GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS." 394 00:13:09,530 --> 00:13:10,731 - SO YOU BOLTED. - YEAH. 395 00:13:10,731 --> 00:13:12,492 - WHEN? - RIGHT AFTER "YMCA." 396 00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:14,264 WELL, YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THAT. 397 00:13:14,264 --> 00:13:16,196 SO I WROTE HER A NOTE, I GRABBED YOU SOME CAKE, 398 00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:17,567 AND I EXITED STAGE LEFT. 399 00:13:17,567 --> 00:13:18,939 CAN I GIVE YOU A PIECE OF ADVICE? 400 00:13:18,939 --> 00:13:20,400 SURE. 401 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,202 IF YOU KEEP GETTING ENGAGED TO PERFECT STRANGERS 402 00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:23,473 AND THEN BAILING ON THE WEDDING NIGHT, 403 00:13:23,473 --> 00:13:25,245 YOU HAVE TO BUY A TUX. 404 00:13:25,245 --> 00:13:26,646 I KEEP MARRYING THE WRONG GIRL. 405 00:13:26,646 --> 00:13:28,208 YOU KEEP MARRYING MOM. 406 00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:29,579 WELL, THAT'S NOT TOO DISTURBING OF A STATEMENT. 407 00:13:29,579 --> 00:13:31,211 WELL, IF THE CREEPY PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE FITS. 408 00:13:32,552 --> 00:13:34,254 YOU MIND IF I CRASH HERE FOR A FEW DAYS? 409 00:13:34,254 --> 00:13:35,385 COUCH IS ALL YOURS. 410 00:13:35,385 --> 00:13:36,516 THANKS. 411 00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:39,259 WELL, SO, THIS IS THE NEW PAD. 412 00:13:39,259 --> 00:13:40,860 IT'S NOT WHAT I PICTURED AT ALL. 413 00:13:40,860 --> 00:13:42,322 NO? WHAT'D YOU PICTURE? 414 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,194 SOMETHING LESS DECORATED AND WITHOUT A ROOF. 415 00:13:44,194 --> 00:13:45,465 YOU'RE HILARIOUS. 416 00:13:45,465 --> 00:13:46,666 HOW LONG DO YOU PLAN TO BE HERE? 417 00:13:46,666 --> 00:13:48,228 WHY, YOU GONNA HAVE YOUR MAIL FORWARDED? 418 00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:49,529 JUST ASKING. 419 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,401 HOW ATTACHED ARE YOU TO YOUR TOOTHBRUSH? 420 00:13:51,401 --> 00:13:53,203 THERE'S AN EXTRA ONE UNDER THE SINK. 421 00:13:53,203 --> 00:13:56,676 I DON'T KNOW WHAT PROBLEM YOU HAD WITH THIS GIRL, 422 00:13:56,676 --> 00:13:58,208 BUT BOY, COULD SHE PICK A CAKE. 423 00:14:07,587 --> 00:14:09,719 I KNOW. I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT THAT MUST HAVE FELT LIKE. 424 00:14:09,719 --> 00:14:11,290 HEY, I GREW UP WITH HIM. 425 00:14:11,290 --> 00:14:12,692 NO ONE KNOWS HOW FLAKY HE IS BETTER THAN ME. 426 00:14:12,692 --> 00:14:15,224 HEY, WHAT'D YOU DO TO THE COFFEE GUY? HE HATES YOUR GUTS. 427 00:14:15,224 --> 00:14:17,296 YES, ABSOLUTELY. SEND IT ALL C.O.D. 428 00:14:17,296 --> 00:14:19,258 TOSS IT IN A BOX, TAPE IT UP AND SHIP IT OFF. 429 00:14:19,258 --> 00:14:21,260 THROW SOME BRICKS IN 'CAUSE THEY CHARGE BY WEIGHT. 430 00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:22,001 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 431 00:14:22,001 --> 00:14:23,462 GETTING YOUR STUFF. 432 00:14:23,462 --> 00:14:24,534 OH GOOD. 433 00:14:24,534 --> 00:14:26,265 OH, I'D RIP THAT LETTER UP. 434 00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:28,537 I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, IT'S NOT EVEN REMOTELY HEARTFELT OR POETIC. 435 00:14:28,537 --> 00:14:30,670 AND IT JUST MAKES HIM SEEM WAY SMARTER THAN HE IS, TRUST ME. 436 00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:31,911 HEY, GET MY PURPLE SWEATER BACK. 437 00:14:31,911 --> 00:14:33,472 HOLD ON A SECOND, MANDY. 438 00:14:33,472 --> 00:14:35,344 - YOU HAVE A PURPLE SWEATER? - IT'S A VERY NICE PURPLE. 439 00:14:35,344 --> 00:14:36,645 DOES MANDY KNOW YOU'RE GAY? 440 00:14:36,645 --> 00:14:37,817 - MICHELLE. - IT MIGHT MAKE HER FEEL BETTER. 441 00:14:37,817 --> 00:14:39,348 JUST GET THE SWEATER. 442 00:14:39,348 --> 00:14:41,280 MANDY, THERE'S A PURPLE SWEATER? 443 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:42,481 OH REALLY? 444 00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:43,622 SHE SAYS IT'S HERS. 445 00:14:43,622 --> 00:14:44,753 IT IS NOT HERS. 446 00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:46,555 - I BELIEVE HER. - GREAT. 447 00:14:46,555 --> 00:14:47,887 OH NO NO. I'M HERE. I'M HERE. 448 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,288 I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE, MANDY. 449 00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:50,459 I'M NOT MY BROTHER. 450 00:14:50,459 --> 00:14:52,031 I'M GONNA CHECK OUT THE REST OF THE TOWN. 451 00:14:52,031 --> 00:14:53,632 WHAT STORES HAVE YOU NOT ALIENATED YET? 452 00:14:53,632 --> 00:14:55,034 NO, HOW BAD WAS THE SEX, MANDY? 453 00:14:55,034 --> 00:14:56,835 - OH, COME ON. - SHE HUNG UP A MINUTE AGO. 454 00:14:56,835 --> 00:14:58,367 OH, THANK GOD. 455 00:14:58,367 --> 00:14:59,868 - A PURPLE SWEATER? - IT'S MORE LIKE LAVENDER. 456 00:14:59,868 --> 00:15:01,870 SO NOT BETTER. 457 00:15:01,870 --> 00:15:03,472 ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE. PLACES AT THE BARRE. 458 00:15:04,743 --> 00:15:06,004 PORT DE BRAS. 459 00:15:06,004 --> 00:15:09,007 ONE. OPEN, TWO. 460 00:15:09,007 --> 00:15:11,009 AND DEMI PLIE. 461 00:15:11,009 --> 00:15:13,011 AND STRETCH. 462 00:15:13,011 --> 00:15:15,284 AND DEMI PLIE. 463 00:15:15,284 --> 00:15:16,054 I'M HERE. 464 00:15:16,054 --> 00:15:17,756 KEEP MOVING, BOYS. KEEP MOVING. 465 00:15:17,756 --> 00:15:19,358 I'M SO SORRY. SO SO SORRY. 466 00:15:19,358 --> 00:15:20,489 I AM JUST GONNA SET THEM UP HERE. 467 00:15:20,489 --> 00:15:21,760 OVER HERE, GUYS. 468 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:23,021 OH, WHAT'S THIS? 469 00:15:23,021 --> 00:15:24,563 BEAVER. 470 00:15:24,563 --> 00:15:26,395 BEAVER. 471 00:15:26,395 --> 00:15:28,396 BEAVER. BEAVER. 472 00:15:28,396 --> 00:15:29,367 BEAVER. 473 00:15:29,367 --> 00:15:30,569 HIS NAME'S BEAVER? 474 00:15:30,569 --> 00:15:31,900 BEAVER. 475 00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:33,632 WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT IGNORING ME? 476 00:15:33,632 --> 00:15:35,534 Beaver: YOU'RE NOT MY MOM. 477 00:15:35,534 --> 00:15:37,375 Boo: OKAY, BUT RIGHT NOW I AM YOUR MOM. 478 00:15:37,375 --> 00:15:38,406 OKAY? NOW COME ON. 479 00:15:38,406 --> 00:15:39,638 - HIS NAME'S BEAVER? - SORRY, GUYS. 480 00:15:39,638 --> 00:15:41,610 HUGELY EMBARRASSED. SO SO SORRY. 481 00:15:41,610 --> 00:15:43,341 WHERE ARE THE LEGOS? 482 00:15:43,341 --> 00:15:45,483 - THEY'RE IN THE BAG. - THIS ISN'T ALL OF THEM. 483 00:15:45,483 --> 00:15:48,887 - I WANT TO MAKE A CASTLE. - WELL, MAKE A CONDO. THAT'S FUN TOO. 484 00:15:48,887 --> 00:15:50,018 HIS NAME'S BEAVER? 485 00:15:50,018 --> 00:15:52,020 YES, THE KID'S NAME IS BEAVER. 486 00:15:52,020 --> 00:15:53,551 - DEAL. - BOO. 487 00:15:53,551 --> 00:15:55,353 I'M SORRY. 488 00:15:55,353 --> 00:15:56,855 CARL WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE THEM OFF MY HANDS, 489 00:15:56,855 --> 00:15:58,897 BUT THEN HE GOT HELD UP AT WORK AND IT WAS EITHER SKIP BALLET 490 00:15:58,897 --> 00:16:01,359 - OR BRING THEM HERE. - OKAY, THIS IS A ONE TIME THING, RIGHT? 491 00:16:01,359 --> 00:16:03,361 A ONE TIME THING. I PROMISE. 492 00:16:03,361 --> 00:16:04,902 AND CARL WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE TO TAKE THEM. 493 00:16:04,902 --> 00:16:07,105 ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE. LET'S CONTINUE. 494 00:16:07,105 --> 00:16:09,037 DEMI PLIE. 495 00:16:09,037 --> 00:16:10,638 AND STRETCH. 496 00:16:10,638 --> 00:16:12,040 AND DEMI PLIE. 497 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,072 - ( laughing ) - CHRIS, NOSE! 498 00:16:14,072 --> 00:16:16,043 - WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED? - I WANT THAT OUT OF YOUR NOSE RIGHT NOW, YOUNG MAN. 499 00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:18,116 YOU DO NOT KNOW WHOSE NOSE THAT'S BEEN IN. 500 00:16:18,116 --> 00:16:19,847 I'M SO SORRY. 501 00:16:19,847 --> 00:16:22,119 AND DEMI PLIE. 502 00:16:22,119 --> 00:16:23,551 AND STRETCH. 503 00:16:23,551 --> 00:16:24,882 AND DEMI PLIE. 504 00:16:24,882 --> 00:16:26,424 - OOH, PURPLE. - BEAVER. 505 00:16:26,424 --> 00:16:27,755 YOUR HAND IS DOWN YOUR PANTS AGAIN. 506 00:16:27,755 --> 00:16:29,557 NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THAT. 507 00:16:29,557 --> 00:16:30,958 SORRY. 508 00:16:30,958 --> 00:16:32,560 I AM SO SORRY IF YOU GUYS SAW THAT. 509 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,892 I AM SO SO SORRY. 510 00:16:34,892 --> 00:16:37,034 AND DEMI PLIE. 511 00:16:37,034 --> 00:16:38,365 AND STRETCH. 512 00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:39,567 - I GOT THEM. - ( groaning ) 513 00:16:39,567 --> 00:16:40,668 I GOT THEM, MICHELLE. 514 00:16:40,668 --> 00:16:42,139 OKAY, GUYS? 515 00:16:42,139 --> 00:16:43,971 GET IN THE CAR. WE'RE GOING BACK TO THE HOUSE. 516 00:16:43,971 --> 00:16:45,873 - AW, I LIKE IT HERE. - SO DO I, 517 00:16:45,873 --> 00:16:47,044 BUT WE'RE IN THE WAY. 518 00:16:47,044 --> 00:16:48,606 SO WE'RE GOING TO THE CAR NOW. 519 00:16:48,606 --> 00:16:50,077 - NO! - OKAY, GUYS. 520 00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:51,909 LISTEN, IF YOU GET IN MY CAR, 521 00:16:51,909 --> 00:16:53,110 I'LL GIVE YOU CANDY. 522 00:16:53,110 --> 00:16:54,712 STRANGER DANGER! 523 00:16:54,712 --> 00:16:56,383 HE'S NOT A STRANGER, BEAVER. 524 00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:57,514 HE'S YOUR UNCLE CARL. 525 00:16:57,514 --> 00:16:58,555 NOW GET IN THE CAR. 526 00:16:58,555 --> 00:17:00,417 COME ON. 527 00:17:00,417 --> 00:17:01,859 ( moans ) 528 00:17:01,859 --> 00:17:03,460 DON'T TOUCH ME. 529 00:17:03,460 --> 00:17:04,691 ( door closes ) 530 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,023 OKAY, PEOPLE, LET'S GET THIS CLASS 531 00:17:06,023 --> 00:17:08,795 MOVING AGAIN. COME ON. 532 00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,027 YOU HEARD THE WOMAN. 533 00:17:10,027 --> 00:17:12,900 AND DEMI PLIE. 534 00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:14,571 AND STRETCH. 535 00:17:14,571 --> 00:17:16,903 AND DEMI PLIE. 536 00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,035 AND STRETCH. 537 00:17:18,035 --> 00:17:20,907 AND GRAND PLIE. 538 00:17:20,907 --> 00:17:22,979 AND STRETCH. 539 00:17:26,583 --> 00:17:28,785 - EAT, LONNIE. - BUT I'M ALL STICKY. 540 00:17:28,785 --> 00:17:29,916 I WANTED ASIAN FOOD. 541 00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:31,648 EVERYTHING'S GETTING COLD. 542 00:17:31,648 --> 00:17:34,050 - AND STICKY. - CHRIS, STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR SPOON. 543 00:17:34,050 --> 00:17:35,592 I'M STILL STICKY. 544 00:17:35,592 --> 00:17:37,123 WHAT IS THIS AND HOW DID IT GET ALL OVER ME? 545 00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:38,855 IT'S WHAT OUR LIVES ARE NOW, CARL. 546 00:17:38,855 --> 00:17:40,597 WE'RE STICKY AND WE'RE TIRED. 547 00:17:40,597 --> 00:17:41,598 ADJUST. 548 00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:52,709 THOSE TWO HAVE KIDS? 549 00:17:52,709 --> 00:17:54,170 THERE'S NOTHING ELSE TO DO IN THIS TOWN. COME ON. 550 00:17:56,112 --> 00:17:57,644 GREETINGS, SEÑORITA. 551 00:17:57,644 --> 00:17:59,115 - HE'S TALKING TO ME. - I GUESSED AS MUCH. 552 00:17:59,115 --> 00:18:00,516 HI THERE. NICE T-SHIRT. 553 00:18:00,516 --> 00:18:01,778 IT'S MY SUNDAY BEST. 554 00:18:01,778 --> 00:18:02,849 IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN, MAN. 555 00:18:02,849 --> 00:18:04,681 YOU TOO. MAN. 556 00:18:04,681 --> 00:18:06,582 WE'LL HAVE-- WHAT DO YOU THINK? TEQUILA SHOTS? 557 00:18:06,582 --> 00:18:08,554 IT'S CHRISTMAS MORNING ALL OVER AGAIN. 558 00:18:08,554 --> 00:18:10,787 HE GETS YOUNGER EVERY TIME I SEE HIM. 559 00:18:10,787 --> 00:18:12,128 HE GETS HOTTER EVERY TIME I SEE HIM. 560 00:18:12,128 --> 00:18:13,930 YOU DISGUST ME WITH YOUR CARNAL WAYS. 561 00:18:13,930 --> 00:18:16,793 OKAY, HELP ME FIND WIFE NUMBER FOUR. 562 00:18:16,793 --> 00:18:18,564 - FIVE. - WHATEVER. 563 00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:20,466 HOW ABOUT BLONDE PIXIE-CUT BEHIND ME? 564 00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:21,597 - NO. - WHY? 565 00:18:21,597 --> 00:18:23,139 - SHE'S MY MANICURIST. - SO? 566 00:18:23,139 --> 00:18:24,740 SO IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG, I'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER MANICURIST. 567 00:18:24,740 --> 00:18:26,672 OR A TOWN WITH MORE THAN ONE MANICURIST. 568 00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:28,644 OKAY, BACK TABLE, 569 00:18:28,644 --> 00:18:29,705 BRUNETTE WITH THE BANGS. 570 00:18:29,705 --> 00:18:30,906 - NYET. - WHY? 571 00:18:30,906 --> 00:18:32,178 - SHE'S WITH A GUY. - I DON'T CARE. 572 00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:33,579 SHE'S THE MOTHER OF ONE OF MY STUDENTS. 573 00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:34,850 FINE. 574 00:18:34,850 --> 00:18:36,112 RED BERET AND LEGGINGS? 575 00:18:36,112 --> 00:18:37,783 - BIBLE STUDY TEACHER. - MOVING ON. 576 00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:39,255 PONYTAIL BY THE PLANTER? 577 00:18:39,255 --> 00:18:40,916 BAGEL CHIP GIRL AT THE FARMERS' MARKET. 578 00:18:40,916 --> 00:18:42,258 FAT BROAD BY THE WINDOW? 579 00:18:42,258 --> 00:18:43,589 SHE WORKS WITH TRULY, AND YOU CAN'T 580 00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:44,860 SLEEP WITH TRULY EITHER. 581 00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:46,592 - WHY NOT? - 'CAUSE SHE'S JUST WEIRD. 582 00:18:46,592 --> 00:18:48,123 LOOK, IF YOU'RE GONNA BLOCK ALL MY ACTION TONIGHT, 583 00:18:48,123 --> 00:18:49,795 I SAY YOU CAN'T SLEEP WITH JUNIOR OVER THERE. 584 00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,267 HE'S THE ONLY BARTENDER I KNOW IN TOWN. 585 00:18:51,267 --> 00:18:53,068 IF SOMETHING HAPPENS, I WON'T BE ABLE TO GET A DRINK. 586 00:18:53,068 --> 00:18:54,600 WELL, I'M NOT SLEEPING WITH HIM NOW, 587 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:55,731 - SO HA. - GOOD. 588 00:18:55,731 --> 00:18:57,072 WHY GOOD? 589 00:18:57,072 --> 00:18:58,734 WELL, HE'S NOT YOUR TYPE. 590 00:18:58,734 --> 00:19:00,806 HE SEEMS KIND OF DUMB. 591 00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:02,738 HE'S NOT DUMB. I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW 592 00:19:02,738 --> 00:19:03,939 HE'S AN OCEANOGRAPHER. 593 00:19:03,939 --> 00:19:05,140 YOU'RE KIDDING. THAT'S A THING? 594 00:19:05,140 --> 00:19:06,942 IT'S A THING. 595 00:19:06,942 --> 00:19:08,644 WOW, OKAY. 596 00:19:08,644 --> 00:19:10,586 TO OCEANOGRAPHY THEN. 597 00:19:10,586 --> 00:19:11,587 HEAR HEAR. 598 00:19:14,590 --> 00:19:15,921 Both: AHH. 599 00:19:18,053 --> 00:19:19,925 MM. 600 00:19:19,925 --> 00:19:21,927 YOU ARE NOW AND WILL ALWAYS BE 601 00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:23,598 MY FAVORITE DRINKING BUDDY. 602 00:19:23,598 --> 00:19:24,599 IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO. 603 00:19:24,599 --> 00:19:25,931 KEEP THEM COMING, SON. 604 00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:27,863 TONIGHT, WE SETTLE ALL FAMILY BUSINESS. 605 00:19:27,863 --> 00:19:29,865 AND WE GET TO GET REALLY REALLY DRUNK. 606 00:19:37,272 --> 00:19:39,274 HEY, DID WE PAY? 607 00:19:39,274 --> 00:19:41,276 - MMM. - I DON'T REMEMBER IF WE PAID. 608 00:19:41,276 --> 00:19:43,948 YOU CAN PAY HIM TOMORROW. 609 00:19:43,948 --> 00:19:45,620 IN KISSES. 610 00:19:45,620 --> 00:19:48,623 SWEET, GENTLE, LITTLE OCEANOGRAPHY KISSES. 611 00:19:48,623 --> 00:19:49,924 I HATE RUNNING OUT ON A CHECK 612 00:19:49,924 --> 00:19:51,186 WHEN I DIDN'T INTEND TO. 613 00:19:51,186 --> 00:19:52,587 WHAT? ( gasps ) 614 00:19:52,587 --> 00:19:54,259 MY UKULELE. 615 00:19:54,259 --> 00:19:55,260 YOU FOUND IT. 616 00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:56,591 MM. 617 00:19:56,591 --> 00:19:58,263 - OH. - ( strums ) 618 00:19:58,263 --> 00:20:00,034 IT SOUNDS THE SAME. 619 00:20:00,034 --> 00:20:02,937 - TERRIBLE. - YEAH. THE SAME. 620 00:20:02,937 --> 00:20:05,269 OH MAN. 621 00:20:05,269 --> 00:20:07,672 THIS IS THE ONLY GOOD GIFT MOM EVER GOT ME. 622 00:20:07,672 --> 00:20:09,143 THE ONLY ONE I EVER WANTED. 623 00:20:11,946 --> 00:20:13,147 DO YOU REMEMBER 624 00:20:13,147 --> 00:20:15,810 THAT ANCIENT CONSOLE RECORD PLAYER WE HAD 625 00:20:15,810 --> 00:20:16,951 WHEN WE WERE GROWING UP? 626 00:20:16,951 --> 00:20:18,583 THE NEEDLE WAS BIG AND SHARP 627 00:20:18,583 --> 00:20:19,984 LIKE A NAIL. 628 00:20:19,984 --> 00:20:23,357 AND THE SPEAKER GRILLS SMELLED LIKE WOOD AND CIGARETTES. 629 00:20:23,357 --> 00:20:24,759 I REMEMBER YOU PLAYING 630 00:20:24,759 --> 00:20:27,962 JUDY GARLAND'S "LIFE IS JUST A BOWL OF CHERRIES" 631 00:20:27,962 --> 00:20:30,224 OVER AND OVER AND OVER... 632 00:20:30,224 --> 00:20:31,726 - I LOVE THAT SONG. - AND OVER AND OVER 633 00:20:31,726 --> 00:20:35,369 AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER. 634 00:20:35,369 --> 00:20:36,600 I WONDER WHERE THAT IS. 635 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:38,602 MOM STILL HAS IT. 636 00:20:38,602 --> 00:20:40,734 SHE STILL HAS EVERYTHING. 637 00:20:40,734 --> 00:20:42,676 ( sighs ) MY UKULELE. 638 00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:43,938 THANK YOU FOR FINDING IT. 639 00:20:43,938 --> 00:20:46,280 YOU'RE WELCOME. 640 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,782 NOW MAYBE YOU CAN HELP ME FIND MY LIFE. 641 00:20:48,782 --> 00:20:51,185 MM, I'M GONNA NEED A SUPER BIG COMPASS FOR THAT ONE. 642 00:20:51,185 --> 00:20:52,946 AH, WHAT AM I GONNA DO? 643 00:20:52,946 --> 00:20:54,948 BRUSH YOUR TEETH. YOU HAVEN'T BRUSHED YOUR TEETH. 644 00:20:54,948 --> 00:20:56,620 I ALWAYS THOUGHT WHEN I GREW UP, 645 00:20:56,620 --> 00:20:58,322 I'D BE SOME KIND OF BIG SHOT. 646 00:20:58,322 --> 00:21:00,624 A FAT CAT WITH A BIG CIGAR. 647 00:21:00,624 --> 00:21:03,627 YEAH. BOSSING PEOPLE AROUND. 648 00:21:03,627 --> 00:21:05,699 DO SOMETHING WHERE YOU WEAR A UNIFORM. 649 00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:07,301 YOU'D LOOK REALLY GOOD IN A UNIFORM. 650 00:21:07,301 --> 00:21:09,303 I WOULD LOOK GOOD IN A UNIFORM. 651 00:21:09,303 --> 00:21:11,635 IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO BE AN ASTRONAUT. 652 00:21:11,635 --> 00:21:13,267 OR A FIREMAN. 653 00:21:13,267 --> 00:21:14,638 OR A BALLERINA. 654 00:21:14,638 --> 00:21:16,770 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A BALLERINA. 655 00:21:16,770 --> 00:21:18,812 MMM. 656 00:21:18,812 --> 00:21:21,344 ASTRONAUT, YEAH. I'LL BE AN ASTRONAUT. 657 00:21:21,344 --> 00:21:23,016 NICE. 658 00:21:23,016 --> 00:21:26,279 AND TOMORROW WE'LL FIGURE OUT WHAT YOUR LIFE'S SUPPOSED TO BE. 659 00:21:28,281 --> 00:21:29,322 BALLERINA. 660 00:21:32,385 --> 00:21:34,387 - ( rock music playing ) - ( shouting ) 661 00:21:38,662 --> 00:21:39,693 WATCH THE PIVOT. 662 00:21:39,693 --> 00:21:40,694 STRIPY HELMET GIRL? 663 00:21:40,694 --> 00:21:41,695 SHE'S LIKE YOUR QUARTERBACK. 664 00:21:41,695 --> 00:21:42,766 SHE CALLS THE PLAYS. 665 00:21:42,766 --> 00:21:43,967 - ARE YOUR PADS SCRATCHY? - VERY. 666 00:21:43,967 --> 00:21:45,699 THEY'LL LOOSEN UP THE MORE YOU FALL. 667 00:21:45,699 --> 00:21:46,900 - IF I FALL. - YOU'RE GONNA FALL. 668 00:21:46,900 --> 00:21:48,301 - RIGHT. - SO HAVE FUN. 669 00:21:48,301 --> 00:21:49,442 DON'T BE MEAN. 670 00:21:49,442 --> 00:21:51,104 NO PUSHING, NO ELBOWS-- 671 00:21:51,104 --> 00:21:52,445 THIS IS A SPORT WITH RULES. 672 00:21:52,445 --> 00:21:54,347 - REMEMBER IT. - GOT IT. REMEMBER THE RULES. 673 00:21:54,347 --> 00:21:55,748 YOU'RE NOT WEARING THAT NECKLACE ARE YOU? 674 00:21:55,748 --> 00:21:56,779 - WHY? - YOU LIKE YOUR HEAD? 675 00:21:56,779 --> 00:21:57,951 LOSING THE NECKLACE. 676 00:21:57,951 --> 00:21:59,712 A COUPLE OF POINTERS, 677 00:21:59,712 --> 00:22:01,914 BAM-BAM McGEE. LOOK AT HER WRONG, YOU'RE GOING DOWN. 678 00:22:01,914 --> 00:22:03,716 I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE MEAN. 679 00:22:03,716 --> 00:22:05,418 GROAN OF ARC. SHE'LL GIVE YOU SOME SLACK FOR A WHILE, 680 00:22:05,418 --> 00:22:07,760 THEN SHE GETS ROUGH, AGGRESSIVE. BE READY. 681 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:09,092 OH, A LOT OF NAMES TO REMEMBER. 682 00:22:09,092 --> 00:22:11,464 AND THE TWINS OUT THERE, SCARY SKATE AND CRASHLEY OLSEN, 683 00:22:11,464 --> 00:22:12,925 DO NOT GET BETWEEN THEM. 684 00:22:12,925 --> 00:22:15,428 THEY WILL SQUEEZE YOU LIKE A WATERMELON SEED. 685 00:22:16,429 --> 00:22:18,431 THIS IS THE TIME HALF THE GIRLS WHO SIGN UP 686 00:22:18,431 --> 00:22:19,472 QUIT, FYI. 687 00:22:19,472 --> 00:22:21,974 I'M NOT QUITTING. 688 00:22:21,974 --> 00:22:23,205 I'M READY. 689 00:22:23,205 --> 00:22:24,337 GOOD. 690 00:22:24,337 --> 00:22:26,309 ARE MY SKATES ON RIGHT? 691 00:22:26,309 --> 00:22:27,440 ( whistle blows ) 692 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:28,981 ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT. 693 00:22:36,419 --> 00:22:37,419 ( whistle blows ) 694 00:22:42,294 --> 00:22:44,296 HOLD HER. SHE'S RIGHT BEHIND US. 695 00:22:44,296 --> 00:22:45,427 HOLD HER. HOLD HER. 696 00:22:45,427 --> 00:22:46,428 RIGHT HERE. 697 00:22:51,433 --> 00:22:52,965 ( grunts ) 698 00:22:56,308 --> 00:22:57,970 YOU OKAY, MEL? 699 00:22:57,970 --> 00:23:00,312 I'M FANTASTIC. 700 00:23:00,312 --> 00:23:02,444 WELL, GET BACK OUT THERE. 701 00:23:21,533 --> 00:23:22,994 WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? 702 00:23:22,994 --> 00:23:24,866 - JUST OUT. WHY? - WHY?! 703 00:23:24,866 --> 00:23:26,868 THIS IS NOT A TIME TO GO JOHN GOTTI ON ME, MELANIE. 704 00:23:26,868 --> 00:23:28,200 THIS IS A TIME OF EMERGENCY. 705 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:29,941 - WHAT'S THIS? - GUESS. 706 00:23:29,941 --> 00:23:31,072 THE BRIDESMAID'S DRESS. 707 00:23:31,072 --> 00:23:32,944 IT'S A TANK WITH WINGS AND A RUMPUS ROOM. 708 00:23:32,944 --> 00:23:34,005 WHAT'S IT DOING HERE? 709 00:23:34,005 --> 00:23:35,106 IT'S THE ONLY PLACE IT'S SAFE. 710 00:23:35,106 --> 00:23:36,348 IF MY MOTHER FOUND IT, SHE MIGHT CHABLIS-UP 711 00:23:36,348 --> 00:23:37,549 AND TAKE A KNIFE TO IT. 712 00:23:37,549 --> 00:23:38,950 THEN YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO WEAR IT. 713 00:23:38,950 --> 00:23:39,911 - DON'T JOKE. - I WASN'T JOKING. 714 00:23:39,911 --> 00:23:41,553 - I HAVE TO WEAR IT. - I KNOW. 715 00:23:41,553 --> 00:23:42,884 NOW LISTEN. 716 00:23:42,884 --> 00:23:44,886 WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING YOUR PHONE? 717 00:23:44,886 --> 00:23:46,418 - MUST BE OFF? - FLAKE CITY, 718 00:23:46,418 --> 00:23:48,219 - I WON'T HAVE IT! - OKAY, SORRY. 719 00:23:48,219 --> 00:23:49,420 YOU CANNOT HAVE YOUR PHONE OFF 720 00:23:49,420 --> 00:23:50,822 FROM NOW UNTIL THE WEDDING. 721 00:23:50,822 --> 00:23:52,363 - IT'S CRISIS TIME, GET IT? - GOT IT. 722 00:23:52,363 --> 00:23:55,096 FAYE MENDELSON HAS GONE INTO A TOTAL DEFENSIVE POSTURE. 723 00:23:55,096 --> 00:23:56,367 SHE MOVED THE PHOTO SHOOT UP A WEEK 724 00:23:56,367 --> 00:23:57,969 TO KEEP MY MOTHER OFF THE SCENT. 725 00:23:57,969 --> 00:23:58,930 AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO DO THE PHOTO SHOOT 726 00:23:58,930 --> 00:24:00,131 THE DAY OF THE WEDDING? 727 00:24:00,131 --> 00:24:01,532 WHEN EVERYONE'S ALREADY THERE, YES. 728 00:24:01,532 --> 00:24:02,934 BUT FAYE'S NOT TAKING CHANCES. 729 00:24:02,934 --> 00:24:04,405 OH, SHE IS GOING TO GREAT EXPENSE 730 00:24:04,405 --> 00:24:06,407 TO MAKE SURE MY MOTHER DOESN'T SHOW UP. 731 00:24:06,407 --> 00:24:08,209 AND SHE'S BRINING A TRAMPOLINE. 732 00:24:08,209 --> 00:24:09,210 WHY? 733 00:24:09,210 --> 00:24:10,541 I DON'T KNOW. 734 00:24:10,541 --> 00:24:11,883 YOU'LL COME WITH ME TO THE PHOTO SHOOT? 735 00:24:11,883 --> 00:24:13,144 HELP WITH THE DRESS, THE MAKEUP, 736 00:24:13,144 --> 00:24:14,345 MAYBE SUICIDE ASSISTANCE? 737 00:24:14,345 --> 00:24:15,346 ABSOLUTELY. 738 00:24:15,346 --> 00:24:17,218 HI, EVERYONE. 739 00:24:17,218 --> 00:24:18,549 HEY. 740 00:24:18,549 --> 00:24:20,221 - HEY. - HEY. 741 00:24:20,221 --> 00:24:22,553 ( cellphone ringing ) 742 00:24:24,555 --> 00:24:26,557 HELLO? MOM? 743 00:24:26,557 --> 00:24:28,559 OKAY, HOW DO YOU KNOW 744 00:24:28,559 --> 00:24:29,830 FAYE MENDELSON IS GETTING A MASSAGE 745 00:24:29,830 --> 00:24:30,961 AND LEFT HER DOG IN THE CAR? 746 00:24:30,961 --> 00:24:32,563 ARE YOU FOLLOWING HER? 747 00:24:32,563 --> 00:24:34,565 WHAT DOES "KIND OF FOLLOWING HER" MEAN? 748 00:24:34,565 --> 00:24:36,567 YOU'RE EITHER FOLLOWING HER OR YOU'RE NOT. 749 00:24:36,567 --> 00:24:37,568 NO, MOM. 750 00:24:39,910 --> 00:24:40,911 HEY. 751 00:24:43,874 --> 00:24:45,876 - HI, COZETTE. - OH, WE'RE TALKING. 752 00:24:45,876 --> 00:24:47,548 - YEAH, SORRY. - NO WORRIES. 753 00:24:47,548 --> 00:24:49,280 NO, SHE WILL KNOW WHO IT IS 754 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:50,881 IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO HER DOG. 755 00:24:50,881 --> 00:24:52,553 SHE WILL KNOW. 756 00:24:52,553 --> 00:24:54,555 I GET WHAT'S GOING ON. 757 00:24:54,555 --> 00:24:56,086 WHAT'S GOING ON? 758 00:24:56,086 --> 00:24:58,889 GROUP DYNAMICS ARE NATURALLY RESISTANT TO ALTERATION. 759 00:24:58,889 --> 00:25:00,230 WHAT IS THAT, LIKE PHYSICS? 760 00:25:00,230 --> 00:25:01,562 MADONNA. 761 00:25:01,562 --> 00:25:03,433 SO WHY DON'T YOU SKATE FOR THE TEAM? 762 00:25:03,433 --> 00:25:05,035 I THOUGHT THAT'S WHY YOU GAVE ME THE FLYER. 763 00:25:05,035 --> 00:25:06,436 MY BROTHER AND I DO THE MUSIC. 764 00:25:06,436 --> 00:25:07,638 WHEN YOU SAW ME THE OTHER DAY, WE WERE GETTING OUR 765 00:25:07,638 --> 00:25:08,899 SET LIST TOGETHER. 766 00:25:08,899 --> 00:25:09,970 THE DOG IS INNOCENT. 767 00:25:09,970 --> 00:25:10,901 HE'S AN INNOCENT PARTY. 768 00:25:10,901 --> 00:25:12,572 DO NOT TOUCH THE DOG! 769 00:25:12,572 --> 00:25:14,244 YOU NEED A NAME, YOU KNOW. 770 00:25:14,244 --> 00:25:15,305 FOR WHAT? 771 00:25:15,305 --> 00:25:17,247 A SKATER NAME. EVERYONE'S GOT A NAME. 772 00:25:17,247 --> 00:25:19,249 OH, YEAH. I HAVEN'T REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT. 773 00:25:19,249 --> 00:25:20,580 WE'LL THINK ABOUT IT. MY BROTHER AND ME 774 00:25:20,580 --> 00:25:22,212 NAMED HALF THE TEAM. LEAVE IT TO US. 775 00:25:22,212 --> 00:25:23,884 SO YOU'RE WALKING DOWN THE STREET 776 00:25:23,884 --> 00:25:25,155 AWAY FROM FAYE MENDELSON'S CAR 777 00:25:25,155 --> 00:25:26,556 AND THE DOG IS FINE. 778 00:25:26,556 --> 00:25:28,558 OKAY. GO HOME. CHABLIS-UP. 779 00:25:28,558 --> 00:25:29,890 I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 780 00:25:29,890 --> 00:25:31,221 ( phone beeps ) 781 00:25:31,221 --> 00:25:33,563 WE SHOULD GET DOWNSTAIRS. 782 00:25:33,563 --> 00:25:34,894 RIGHT BEHIND YOU. 783 00:25:40,230 --> 00:25:41,901 I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE. 784 00:25:41,901 --> 00:25:43,373 YOUR PARENTS ARE NORMAL. 785 00:25:43,373 --> 00:25:45,034 THEY DO NORMAL THINGS AND EAT NORMAL FOOD. 786 00:25:45,034 --> 00:25:46,636 AND EVEN THOUGH YOUR MOTHER COUNTS THE PEAS 787 00:25:46,636 --> 00:25:48,478 ON EVERYONE'S PLATE TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE HAS THE SAME AMOUNT, 788 00:25:48,478 --> 00:25:50,640 I THINK THAT'S THOUGHTFUL. MORE THOUGHTFUL THAN WANDERING THE HOUSE 789 00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:52,041 AT NIGHT LIKE LADY MACBETH. 790 00:25:52,041 --> 00:25:53,343 OH SHOOT, I FORGOT MY SHOES. 791 00:25:53,343 --> 00:25:55,585 YOU DID NOT FORGET YOUR SHOES. I DROVE YOU OFF. 792 00:25:55,585 --> 00:25:57,387 I DROVE HER OFF JUST LIKE MY MOTHER 793 00:25:57,387 --> 00:25:58,518 DRIVES EVERYONE OFF. 794 00:25:58,518 --> 00:26:00,119 "WE MOCK THE THINGS WE ARE TO BE." 795 00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:01,391 YOU KNOW WHO SAID THAT? MEL BROOKS. 796 00:26:01,391 --> 00:26:02,652 2,000-YEAR-OLD MAN. 797 00:26:02,652 --> 00:26:04,494 HE WAS TALKING ABOUT HOW WE MAKE FUN OF OUR PARENTS 798 00:26:04,494 --> 00:26:06,426 AND THEN WE GROW UP AND TURN INTO OUR PARENTS. 799 00:26:06,426 --> 00:26:08,227 AND THAT LINE POPPED INTO MY HEAD YESTERDAY 800 00:26:08,227 --> 00:26:10,430 SO I STARTED LOOKING THROUGH OLD PHOTO ALBUMS OF MY MOTHER 801 00:26:10,430 --> 00:26:12,301 TRYING TO FIGURE OUT EXACTLY WHEN HER CRAZY SET IN 802 00:26:12,301 --> 00:26:13,503 SO I CAN BE PREPARED. 803 00:26:13,503 --> 00:26:14,704 I THINK IT STARTED AROUND COLLEGE. 804 00:26:14,704 --> 00:26:16,035 THAT'S THE FIRST TIME I SAW HER DO THAT 805 00:26:16,035 --> 00:26:17,707 REALLY WILD-EYED THING SHE DOES. 806 00:26:17,707 --> 00:26:19,969 SO I GUESS I'VE GOT ABOUT THREE TO FOUR YEARS 807 00:26:19,969 --> 00:26:21,040 BEFORE I GO BARKING MAD 808 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:22,241 WHICH IS GOOD. 809 00:26:22,241 --> 00:26:23,943 NOW I'M READY FOR IT. I CAN PLAN AHEAD. 810 00:26:23,943 --> 00:26:25,574 YOU KNOW, HAVE A LOT OF ROUNDED CORNERS IN MY HOUSE. 811 00:26:25,574 --> 00:26:27,046 WEAR SOFT, BOUNCY CLOTHING. 812 00:26:27,046 --> 00:26:28,377 STOCK UP ON TISSUE, ICE CREAM, 813 00:26:28,377 --> 00:26:29,719 - VOODOO DOLLS. - ARE YOU DUTCH? 814 00:26:29,719 --> 00:26:31,981 - WHAT? - DUTCH. ARE YOU DUTCH? 815 00:26:31,981 --> 00:26:34,723 - I-- - YOUR FACE REMINDS ME OF A VERMEER. 816 00:26:34,723 --> 00:26:36,085 IT DOES? 817 00:26:36,085 --> 00:26:37,226 "THE MILKMAID." 818 00:26:37,226 --> 00:26:39,158 I DRINK MILK. 819 00:26:39,158 --> 00:26:41,590 Michelle: ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE. BUTTS TO THE BARRE. 820 00:26:41,590 --> 00:26:44,433 WELL, I SHOULD GET THIS OVER THERE. 821 00:26:44,433 --> 00:26:46,035 HEY. 822 00:26:46,035 --> 00:26:48,237 GENIUS IS OFTEN TOUCHED WITH MADNESS. 823 00:26:48,237 --> 00:26:49,538 THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT FUN. 824 00:26:49,538 --> 00:26:52,201 - TICK, TOCK. - I GUESS SO. 825 00:26:54,573 --> 00:26:55,974 OW. 826 00:26:55,974 --> 00:26:57,246 COME ON, LET'S GO. MOVE MOVE MOVE. 827 00:26:57,246 --> 00:26:58,707 UP UP UP. COME ON. 828 00:26:58,707 --> 00:27:01,250 THERE'S NO ONE IN HERE YOU CAN DATE. 829 00:27:01,250 --> 00:27:03,051 I JUST THOUGHT I'D COME WATCH MY SISTER 830 00:27:03,051 --> 00:27:03,712 SHAPE YOUNG LIVES. 831 00:27:03,712 --> 00:27:04,983 I'M JUST TEACHING A CLASS. 832 00:27:04,983 --> 00:27:06,585 YOU ARE JUST TEACHING A CLASS. 833 00:27:06,585 --> 00:27:07,716 - STOP. - WHAT? 834 00:27:07,716 --> 00:27:09,057 YOU'RE BEING A LITTLE BIT DOUCHEY. 835 00:27:09,057 --> 00:27:10,088 I'M NOT BEING A LITTLE BIT DOUCHEY. 836 00:27:10,088 --> 00:27:11,089 I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU IN A POSITION 837 00:27:11,089 --> 00:27:12,521 OF AUTHORITY BEFORE. EXCEPT THAT YEAR 838 00:27:12,521 --> 00:27:14,192 YOU DRESSED UP LIKE ANGIE DICKINSON FOR HALLOWEEN. 839 00:27:14,192 --> 00:27:15,324 HA HA. GO AWAY. 840 00:27:15,324 --> 00:27:17,466 I'M NOT GONNA DISRUPT ANYTHING. 841 00:27:17,466 --> 00:27:19,598 - SCOTTY. - I'M JUST GONNA SIT RIGHT HERE 842 00:27:19,598 --> 00:27:21,600 AND WATCH YOU TEACH. 843 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,271 I THINK IT'LL BE INTERESTING. 844 00:27:23,271 --> 00:27:24,633 AND POSSIBLY HILARIOUS. 845 00:27:26,575 --> 00:27:28,707 ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE. FIRST POSITION. 846 00:27:28,707 --> 00:27:30,709 ( piano playing ) 847 00:27:34,042 --> 00:27:36,715 DEMI, STRAIGHT. 848 00:27:36,715 --> 00:27:39,587 DEMI, STRAIGHT. 849 00:27:39,587 --> 00:27:40,719 GRAND PLIE. 850 00:27:46,724 --> 00:27:48,726 NICE. BEAUTIFUL. 851 00:27:48,726 --> 00:27:49,727 NEXT GROUP. 852 00:27:54,062 --> 00:27:56,604 ALL RIGHT, FOUR TURNS ARE NOT BETTER THAN THREE IF YOU FALL, DUDE. 853 00:28:04,272 --> 00:28:06,074 COZETTE, SO GOOD, BUT I NEED THAT HOLD 854 00:28:06,074 --> 00:28:07,745 BEFORE YOU FLOAT THROUGH. 855 00:28:07,745 --> 00:28:09,117 I'M SORRY? 856 00:28:09,117 --> 00:28:10,718 YOU HAVE TO HIT THAT ARABESQUE STRONG. 857 00:28:10,718 --> 00:28:13,721 AND THEN SQUARE EVERYTHING OFF. 858 00:28:13,721 --> 00:28:15,052 THEN LEADING WITH THE CHIN, 859 00:28:15,052 --> 00:28:17,255 ARM UP AND THEN FLOAT THROUGH, OKAY? 860 00:28:17,255 --> 00:28:18,256 AHH. 861 00:28:18,256 --> 00:28:20,588 LIKE THIS. 862 00:28:20,588 --> 00:28:21,729 YES. GREAT. 863 00:28:21,729 --> 00:28:23,260 PERFECT. NICE. 864 00:28:23,260 --> 00:28:24,732 POINTE SHOES ON, EVERYONE. 865 00:28:28,596 --> 00:28:30,738 WOW, THAT COZETTE, SHE'S VERY-- 866 00:28:30,738 --> 00:28:32,269 - INTENSE? - AND WEIRD. 867 00:28:32,269 --> 00:28:33,541 I MEAN WEIRD IN A GOOD WAY, 868 00:28:33,541 --> 00:28:35,202 - BUT WHO THE HELL IS SHE? - BEATS ME. 869 00:28:35,202 --> 00:28:36,544 AND WHY DOES SHE BRING THAT SKETCH ARTIST WITH HER 870 00:28:36,544 --> 00:28:38,145 - EVERYWHERE SHE GOES? - THAT'S HER BROTHER. 871 00:28:38,145 --> 00:28:40,207 OH, OKAY. YEAH, NOT ANY LESS WEIRD. 872 00:28:40,207 --> 00:28:41,749 WHO BRINGS THEIR BROTHER WITH THEM EVERYWHERE THEY GO? 873 00:28:41,749 --> 00:28:43,711 OH, HEY, SCOTTY. THIS IS MY BROTHER SCOTTY. 874 00:28:43,711 --> 00:28:46,083 NICE HOOFING. MAKING MICHELLE LOOK GOOD OUT THERE. 875 00:28:46,083 --> 00:28:48,415 THANK YOU FROM THE PRESIDENT OF "I HAVE NO COORDINATION 876 00:28:48,415 --> 00:28:49,586 INCORPORATED." 877 00:28:49,586 --> 00:28:52,159 SO SERIOUSLY, HOW IS SHE AS A TEACHER? 878 00:28:52,159 --> 00:28:53,761 - SHE'S GOOD. - REALLY? 879 00:28:53,761 --> 00:28:55,592 ACCEPT THE ANSWER AND GO SIT DOWN. 880 00:28:55,592 --> 00:28:56,764 I'M SORRY, I HAVE TO SAY 881 00:28:56,764 --> 00:28:58,725 IT IS SO WEIRD TO SEE YOU AS A TEACHER. 882 00:28:58,725 --> 00:28:59,726 I KNOW, RIGHT? 883 00:28:59,726 --> 00:29:00,767 THANKS, MATISSE. 884 00:29:00,767 --> 00:29:01,798 YOU GUYS HAVE TO UNDERSTAND, 885 00:29:01,798 --> 00:29:03,130 WHEN MICHELLE WAS A KID, 886 00:29:03,130 --> 00:29:04,401 SHE HATED HER BALLET TEACHER. 887 00:29:04,401 --> 00:29:05,602 OKAY, WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A CLASS HERE. 888 00:29:05,602 --> 00:29:06,873 NO, IT WAS LIKE A DEEP DEEP HATRED. 889 00:29:06,873 --> 00:29:08,405 AN OBSESSIVE HATRED. 890 00:29:08,405 --> 00:29:10,607 AND THEN ONE NIGHT SHE SAW THIS MOVIE. 891 00:29:10,607 --> 00:29:13,880 AND IT HAD... MARGARET O'BRIEN, 892 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:15,412 - REMEMBER? - NO. 893 00:29:15,412 --> 00:29:17,144 SO, MARGARET O'BRIEN WAS THIS BALLET STUDENT 894 00:29:17,144 --> 00:29:19,286 AND SHE IDOLIZED THIS OLD BALLERINA. 895 00:29:19,286 --> 00:29:21,818 SHE WASN'T OLD. SHE WAS OLDER 896 00:29:21,818 --> 00:29:23,320 THAN MARGARET O'BRIEN. 897 00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:25,352 AND THEN ONE DAY, THIS OTHER BALLERINA COMES TO TOWN 898 00:29:25,352 --> 00:29:26,823 AND STEALS THE LEAD IN "SWAN LAKE" 899 00:29:26,823 --> 00:29:28,755 FROM MARGARET O'BRIEN'S BALLERINA. 900 00:29:28,755 --> 00:29:30,857 SO SHE DECIDES TO SABOTAGE THE NEW BALLERINA 901 00:29:30,857 --> 00:29:32,329 BY TURNING OFF THE STAGE LIGHTS, 902 00:29:32,329 --> 00:29:34,901 BUT SHE OPENS A TRAPDOOR IN THE FLOOR BY MISTAKE, 903 00:29:34,901 --> 00:29:36,333 AND THE BALLERINA FALLS INTO IT. 904 00:29:36,333 --> 00:29:37,434 OH MY GOD, WHAT HAPPENED? 905 00:29:37,434 --> 00:29:38,865 PARALYZED, WHEELCHAIR. 906 00:29:38,865 --> 00:29:40,236 THAT'S TERRIBLE. 907 00:29:40,236 --> 00:29:41,608 TO YOU. TO MICHELLE, IT WAS INSPIRATION. 908 00:29:41,608 --> 00:29:42,869 OKAY, SCOTTY. 909 00:29:42,869 --> 00:29:45,211 SO MICHELLE DECIDES TO CUT A HOLE IN THE FLOOR 910 00:29:45,211 --> 00:29:46,613 OF HER BALLET CLASS 911 00:29:46,613 --> 00:29:47,814 SO THAT OLD LADY VINSHTICK 912 00:29:47,814 --> 00:29:48,875 WOULD FALL IN AND PARALYZE HERSELF. 913 00:29:48,875 --> 00:29:50,276 I DID NOT. 914 00:29:50,276 --> 00:29:51,748 SHE BREAKS IN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT 915 00:29:51,748 --> 00:29:54,280 AND TRIES TO CUT A HOLE IN THE FLOOR WITH-- 916 00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:57,624 WITH SAFETY SCISSORS AND A GRAPEFRUIT SPOON. 917 00:29:57,624 --> 00:29:58,825 IT DIDN'T GO VERY WELL. 918 00:29:58,825 --> 00:30:00,286 WOW. 919 00:30:00,286 --> 00:30:01,387 OKAY, SHOES BACK ON? GREAT. 920 00:30:01,387 --> 00:30:02,789 BACK TO THE CENTER. GO. 921 00:30:05,491 --> 00:30:06,893 - NICE KIDS. - THEY SURE ARE. 922 00:30:06,893 --> 00:30:08,464 SO HOW MUCH LONGER YOU GOT HERE? 923 00:30:08,464 --> 00:30:09,766 I'M THINKING DINNER. 924 00:30:09,766 --> 00:30:11,497 DON'T KNOW. CLASS, SOME BOOKKEEPING. 925 00:30:11,497 --> 00:30:13,269 YOU MIGHT BE ON YOUR OWN TONIGHT. 926 00:30:13,269 --> 00:30:14,871 OH. 927 00:30:14,871 --> 00:30:16,242 OKAY. 928 00:30:16,242 --> 00:30:18,604 ECHAPPE, ECHAPPE, ECHAPPE, PAS DE CHAT. 929 00:30:18,604 --> 00:30:20,746 FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT. 930 00:30:20,746 --> 00:30:22,748 ( piano playing ) 931 00:30:32,388 --> 00:30:34,790 SONIC YOUTH SEGUEING INTO LITTLE RICHARD TOTALLY WORKED LAST NIGHT. 932 00:30:34,790 --> 00:30:36,262 AS PREDICTED. 933 00:30:36,262 --> 00:30:38,264 LIL' WAYNE SEGUEING INTO BRAD PAISLEY DID NOT. 934 00:30:38,264 --> 00:30:39,595 DID YOU KNOW HE WAS COUNTRY? 935 00:30:39,595 --> 00:30:41,597 THE PAISLEY THING THREW ME OFF. 936 00:30:41,597 --> 00:30:44,270 YOU BLENDING IN? 937 00:30:44,270 --> 00:30:45,931 - ME? - YEAH YOU. 938 00:30:45,931 --> 00:30:47,272 TRYING TO. 939 00:30:47,272 --> 00:30:48,474 THE NAME WILL HELP. 940 00:30:48,474 --> 00:30:49,735 JUST GOTTA THINK OF ONE. 941 00:30:49,735 --> 00:30:52,307 - WE ALREADY DID THAT. - YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT. 942 00:30:52,307 --> 00:30:53,479 BUT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME. 943 00:30:53,479 --> 00:30:56,812 YO! CLEO-SMACKTRA, GET IN HERE. 944 00:30:58,444 --> 00:31:00,616 CLEO-SMACKTRA? 945 00:31:00,616 --> 00:31:01,947 COOL. 946 00:31:04,449 --> 00:31:06,251 THAT BEAVER. HE'S EVIL. 947 00:31:06,251 --> 00:31:07,593 THERE'S EVILNESS IN THAT KID. 948 00:31:07,593 --> 00:31:09,394 AT LEAST I'M NOT LATE TO CLASS TODAY. GOOD. 949 00:31:09,394 --> 00:31:11,727 THE HAND OF LUCIFER HAS TOUCHED THAT CHILD. 950 00:31:11,727 --> 00:31:13,258 NO TIME FOR THE DRESSING ROOM THOUGH. 951 00:31:13,258 --> 00:31:14,860 HE PLAYED US AGAINST EACH OTHER. 952 00:31:14,860 --> 00:31:15,861 HOW DID WE LET HIM DO THAT? 953 00:31:15,861 --> 00:31:17,262 HE CAUGHT US AT A BAD TIME. 954 00:31:17,262 --> 00:31:18,463 I DIDN'T CALL YOU DOO-DOO HEAD. 955 00:31:18,463 --> 00:31:20,365 I WOULD NEVER CALL YOU DOO-DOO HEAD. 956 00:31:20,365 --> 00:31:21,536 I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT FOR A SECOND 957 00:31:21,536 --> 00:31:22,707 YOU THOUGHT I WOULD CALL YOU DOO-DOO HEAD. 958 00:31:22,707 --> 00:31:24,269 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE WAS SAYING, OKAY? 959 00:31:24,269 --> 00:31:25,810 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK. 960 00:31:25,810 --> 00:31:27,272 HE'S BAD. I MEAN, HE'S JUST A BAD ONE. 961 00:31:27,272 --> 00:31:29,274 AND WE FELL FOR IT. WHY DID WE FALL FOR IT? 962 00:31:29,274 --> 00:31:30,946 - WE'RE TIRED. - I'M EXHAUSTED. 963 00:31:30,946 --> 00:31:33,618 CLASS IS AN HOUR. YOU AND THE KIDS STAY IN THE VICINITY, OKAY? 964 00:31:33,618 --> 00:31:35,780 BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO BRING THEM ALL IN WITH YOU. 965 00:31:35,780 --> 00:31:37,582 CARL, I CAN'T. I HAVE CLASS. 966 00:31:37,582 --> 00:31:39,254 WELL, I'VE GOT SOMETHING TOO. 967 00:31:39,254 --> 00:31:40,785 SOMETHING? WHAT SOMETHING? 968 00:31:40,785 --> 00:31:42,257 YOU DON'T HAVE WORK TODAY. 969 00:31:42,257 --> 00:31:43,458 I'M GOING TO THE GYM. 970 00:31:43,458 --> 00:31:44,789 THE GYM. 971 00:31:44,789 --> 00:31:46,461 YEAH, IT'S BEEN, LIKE, FOREVER. 972 00:31:46,461 --> 00:31:47,862 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO THE GYM. 973 00:31:47,862 --> 00:31:48,933 I AM GOING TO THE GYM. 974 00:31:48,933 --> 00:31:50,695 - NO. - YES. 975 00:31:50,695 --> 00:31:52,036 OKAY, FINE. BUT I WON'T BE HERE WHEN YOU GET BACK. 976 00:31:52,036 --> 00:31:53,838 I HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO MYSELF IN A WEEK! 977 00:31:53,838 --> 00:31:55,670 YOU KNEW THAT KIDS WERE A COMMITMENT. 978 00:31:55,670 --> 00:31:57,272 THESE AREN'T OUR KIDS. 979 00:31:57,272 --> 00:31:58,473 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 980 00:31:58,473 --> 00:31:59,604 CARL, PLEASE. 981 00:31:59,604 --> 00:32:01,606 FINE. I'LL SKIP THE GYM. 982 00:32:01,606 --> 00:32:03,948 BUT IF I LOSE DEFINITION IN MY GLUTES, 983 00:32:03,948 --> 00:32:06,280 YOU'RE TO BLAME, OKAY? 984 00:32:08,953 --> 00:32:10,615 CARL, PLEASE DON'T BE MAD. 985 00:32:10,615 --> 00:32:12,757 LET'S START CLASS, LOSERS. 986 00:32:12,757 --> 00:32:14,559 JUST NEED TO STRETCH A LITTLE FIRST, 987 00:32:14,559 --> 00:32:16,290 - OKAY, JORDAN? - ABSOLUTELY NOT. 988 00:32:16,290 --> 00:32:17,491 YOU THREE, YOU'RE MY FIRST GROUP. 989 00:32:17,491 --> 00:32:19,924 WE'RE STARTING WITH PIROUETTES. 990 00:32:19,924 --> 00:32:22,326 AND TENDU. 991 00:32:22,326 --> 00:32:26,400 FOURTH, SPOT SPOT SPOT. 992 00:32:29,734 --> 00:32:31,075 TWO? 993 00:32:31,075 --> 00:32:33,607 TWO AND THEN YOU STOP. 994 00:32:33,607 --> 00:32:35,079 MARGARET, HOW OLD ARE YOU? 995 00:32:35,079 --> 00:32:38,612 - 10. - 10? 996 00:32:38,612 --> 00:32:40,945 I THOUGHT, WITH THAT ATTITUDE OF YOURS, YOU WERE SIX. 997 00:32:40,945 --> 00:32:43,587 YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW MANY I COULD DO WHEN I WAS 10? 998 00:32:43,587 --> 00:32:44,718 LIKE A THOUSAND. 999 00:32:44,718 --> 00:32:46,750 DO NOT LOOK WEAK, MARGARET. 1000 00:32:46,750 --> 00:32:49,093 BARYSHNIKOV NEVER LOOKED WEAK. 1001 00:32:49,093 --> 00:32:51,095 EVEN IN "SEX AND THE CITY," 1002 00:32:51,095 --> 00:32:52,496 THE MAN NEVER LOOKED WEAK! 1003 00:32:52,496 --> 00:32:54,098 JORDAN! 1004 00:32:54,098 --> 00:32:55,799 I HAVE HAD IT WITH THIS ATTITUDE OF YOURS. 1005 00:32:55,799 --> 00:32:57,101 YOUR RUDENESS. 1006 00:32:57,101 --> 00:32:59,603 AND YOUR BARYSHNIKOV THIS AND BARYSHNIKOV THAT. 1007 00:32:59,603 --> 00:33:01,004 - HEY, THIS IS NOT YOUR CLASS. - NO! YOU ARE GETTING 1008 00:33:01,004 --> 00:33:02,065 A TIME-OUT, MISTER. 1009 00:33:02,065 --> 00:33:03,737 - WHAT? - SHH. QUIET. 1010 00:33:03,737 --> 00:33:05,609 NO NO NO. LOOK AT ME. 1011 00:33:05,609 --> 00:33:07,611 LOOK AT ME. 1012 00:33:07,611 --> 00:33:09,072 OKAY, WE ARE HERE TO LEARN 1013 00:33:09,072 --> 00:33:10,944 AND TO HAVE A GOOD TIME. 1014 00:33:10,944 --> 00:33:13,076 THAT'S WHAT BALLET IS ALL ABOUT. 1015 00:33:13,076 --> 00:33:14,948 - ( cellphone rings ) - NOW, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ANSWER THAT. 1016 00:33:14,948 --> 00:33:16,880 OKAY? BECAUSE I'VE GOT SCHOOL. 1017 00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:18,682 AND A JOB. AND THREE KIDS. 1018 00:33:18,682 --> 00:33:20,954 AND THAT COULD BE NEWS THAT ONE OF THEM JUST SHOVED A DUMP TRUCK 1019 00:33:20,954 --> 00:33:22,626 UP HIS NOSE, OKAY? 1020 00:33:22,626 --> 00:33:24,087 SO I'M GOING TO TAKE FIVE MINUTES. 1021 00:33:24,087 --> 00:33:26,089 WE'RE ALL GOING TO TAKE FIVE MINUTES HERE. 1022 00:33:26,089 --> 00:33:28,632 AND WHEN I GET BACK, I EXPECT TO SEE 1023 00:33:28,632 --> 00:33:31,464 A BRAND-NEW JORDAN. 1024 00:33:31,464 --> 00:33:32,465 ( chuckling ) 1025 00:33:34,367 --> 00:33:36,499 - YEAH? - Ginny: Boo, I'm looking for Melanie. Is she there? 1026 00:33:36,499 --> 00:33:37,771 - NO. - NO? 1027 00:33:37,771 --> 00:33:38,902 ARE YOU KIDDING? LOOK AGAIN. 1028 00:33:38,902 --> 00:33:40,143 SHE'S GOTTA BE THERE. I NEED HER HERE. 1029 00:33:40,143 --> 00:33:41,945 - SHE PROMISED. - HONEY, HONEY, 1030 00:33:41,945 --> 00:33:43,847 TAKE OFF THE FROWNY FACE AND PUT ON THE SMILEY FACE. 1031 00:33:43,847 --> 00:33:45,148 WHAT? BOO, LISTEN-- 1032 00:33:45,148 --> 00:33:46,509 Do you have a juice box? 1033 00:33:46,509 --> 00:33:47,851 - DO YOU WANT JUICE? - Boo. Listen. 1034 00:33:47,851 --> 00:33:49,152 - YOU'VE GOT TO LOSE THOSE KIDS. - I know. 1035 00:33:49,152 --> 00:33:50,813 OKAY, WHAT AM I GONNA DO? 1036 00:33:50,813 --> 00:33:53,416 LOOK, CALL CHARLIE. HE PROBABLY KNOWS WHERE SHE IS. 1037 00:33:53,416 --> 00:33:54,958 I WILL. 1038 00:33:54,958 --> 00:33:57,520 ( phone beeps ) 1039 00:33:57,520 --> 00:33:59,622 ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE. LET'S START. 1040 00:33:59,622 --> 00:34:00,963 BIG SMILES NOW. 1041 00:34:02,965 --> 00:34:05,098 JORDAN? 1042 00:34:05,098 --> 00:34:07,100 OKAY, CAN EVERYONE COME OUT TO THE CENTER, PLEASE? 1043 00:34:09,972 --> 00:34:12,975 AND TENDU. FOURTH. 1044 00:34:15,107 --> 00:34:16,709 VERY NICE. 1045 00:34:16,709 --> 00:34:19,111 ALL RIGHT, LET'S TRY IT AGAIN, PLEASE? 1046 00:34:19,111 --> 00:34:21,083 AND TENDU. 1047 00:34:21,083 --> 00:34:23,816 - ( whistle blowing ) - ( indistinct shouts ) 1048 00:34:25,618 --> 00:34:26,819 ( laughing ) 1049 00:34:31,624 --> 00:34:33,956 PICK UP YOUR FEET. 1050 00:34:33,956 --> 00:34:36,098 ( grunts ) 1051 00:34:36,098 --> 00:34:39,101 DAMN IT, McGEE, I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT. 1052 00:34:40,202 --> 00:34:43,005 ( indistinct chatter ) 1053 00:34:43,005 --> 00:34:44,006 OH MY GOD. 1054 00:34:50,642 --> 00:34:52,114 I FORGOT TO GO TO THE PHOTO SHOOT. 1055 00:34:52,114 --> 00:34:54,116 YEAH? 1056 00:34:54,116 --> 00:34:55,217 IT WENT BAD, DIDN'T IT? 1057 00:34:55,217 --> 00:34:56,919 OH YES, YES. VERY BAD. 1058 00:34:56,919 --> 00:34:59,121 - VERY BAD INDEED. - WHAT'S ON THE DRESS? 1059 00:34:59,121 --> 00:35:01,183 - PUNCH. - PUNCH? FROM WHAT? 1060 00:35:01,183 --> 00:35:02,584 PUNCH FROM WHEN MY MOTHER CAME 1061 00:35:02,584 --> 00:35:03,956 - AND THREW IT ALL OVER US. - OH MY GOD. 1062 00:35:03,956 --> 00:35:05,487 WHERE DID YOUR MOTHER GET PUNCH? 1063 00:35:05,487 --> 00:35:07,960 OH, THERE ARE A VARIETY OF PLACES TO GET PUNCH, MELANIE. 1064 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:09,631 RALPHS HAS PUNCH, 1065 00:35:09,631 --> 00:35:11,163 AND VONS, AND ALBERTSONS, 1066 00:35:11,163 --> 00:35:13,235 YOUR LOCAL PHARMACY STOCKS MANY PUNCH PRODUCTS 1067 00:35:13,235 --> 00:35:16,198 TO THROW ON PEOPLE. PUNCH IS VERY EASY TO OBTAIN. 1068 00:35:16,198 --> 00:35:19,101 GINNY, I AM SO SORRY. 1069 00:35:19,101 --> 00:35:21,503 I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU WHY I HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND. 1070 00:35:21,503 --> 00:35:23,645 BUT I GOT CAUGHT UP IN ALL THIS STUFF, 1071 00:35:23,645 --> 00:35:25,247 AND I'M SUCKING AT SCHOOL 1072 00:35:25,247 --> 00:35:28,109 AND MY DAD IS PUTTING COLLEGE PAMPHLETS ON MY PILLOW, 1073 00:35:28,109 --> 00:35:30,982 AND UNDER MY BREAKFAST PLATE, AND IN MY SOCK DRAWER. 1074 00:35:30,982 --> 00:35:34,185 AND HE KEEPS GOING ON AND ON ABOUT THE S.A.T.s 1075 00:35:34,185 --> 00:35:35,717 AND WHAT I'M GONNA MAJOR IN 1076 00:35:35,717 --> 00:35:36,988 AND WHAT I'M GONNA DO FOR A LIVING 1077 00:35:36,988 --> 00:35:38,660 AND WHAT RETIREMENT HOME I'M GONNA END UP IN. 1078 00:35:38,660 --> 00:35:40,992 AND I FOUND THIS, THIS... 1079 00:35:40,992 --> 00:35:42,123 SKATING THING, 1080 00:35:42,123 --> 00:35:44,896 AND IT MADE SOME KIND OF STUPID SENSE. 1081 00:35:44,896 --> 00:35:46,097 AND I'M JUST SO... 1082 00:35:46,097 --> 00:35:48,269 SO SORRY. 1083 00:35:50,271 --> 00:35:52,133 SAY SOMETHING. 1084 00:35:52,133 --> 00:35:54,906 YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE. 1085 00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:01,642 WHERE ARE WE? WHAT IS THIS? 1086 00:36:01,642 --> 00:36:03,845 IT'S ROLLER DERBY. 1087 00:36:03,845 --> 00:36:05,686 ROLLER DERBY? YOU'RE IN ROLLER DERBY? 1088 00:36:05,686 --> 00:36:07,949 I'M CLEO-SMACKTRA. 1089 00:36:07,949 --> 00:36:09,790 ( stammers ) 1090 00:36:09,790 --> 00:36:11,652 HOW DID THIS ENTER YOUR WORLD? 1091 00:36:11,652 --> 00:36:13,094 THAT NIGHT AT THE OYSTER BAR, 1092 00:36:13,094 --> 00:36:15,156 WHEN I PULLED THE CHAIR OUT FROM UNDERNEATH GODOT. 1093 00:36:15,156 --> 00:36:16,597 GODOT GOT YOU INTO THIS? 1094 00:36:16,597 --> 00:36:17,698 NOT GODOT. 1095 00:36:17,698 --> 00:36:19,130 SHE GAVE ME A FLYER. 1096 00:36:19,130 --> 00:36:20,131 SHE? 1097 00:36:23,664 --> 00:36:25,066 YOU! 1098 00:36:25,066 --> 00:36:26,967 HI? 1099 00:36:26,967 --> 00:36:28,209 SHOULD YOU RUN? 1100 00:36:30,111 --> 00:36:32,973 YOU STAY OUT OF THIS. YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING! 1101 00:36:32,973 --> 00:36:34,915 I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE OR WHERE YOU'RE FROM, 1102 00:36:34,915 --> 00:36:37,918 OR WHY YOU KNOW FRENCH, OR WHY YOU'RE SO CLOSE WITH MITCH ALVARADO, 1103 00:36:37,918 --> 00:36:39,320 BUT MELANIE IS MY FRIEND! 1104 00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:40,581 AND IT'S THE FOUR OF US. 1105 00:36:40,581 --> 00:36:43,083 AND YOU NEED TO STAY THE HELL AWAY! 1106 00:36:43,083 --> 00:36:44,755 AND I'M NORWEGIAN! 1107 00:36:51,662 --> 00:36:52,993 DOES SHE SKATE? 1108 00:36:54,134 --> 00:36:56,136 ( whistle blowing ) 1109 00:37:08,809 --> 00:37:10,150 ( knocking on door ) 1110 00:37:10,150 --> 00:37:11,351 - IS EVERYONE DECENT? - YEP. 1111 00:37:11,351 --> 00:37:13,013 I WAS YELLING YOUR NAME FOR 20 MINUTES. 1112 00:37:13,013 --> 00:37:14,815 - DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? - WHAT DO YOU WANT, SCOTTY? 1113 00:37:14,815 --> 00:37:17,157 I JUST NEED A KEY TO GET IN YOUR PLACE. 1114 00:37:17,157 --> 00:37:18,819 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE KEY I GAVE YOU YESTERDAY? 1115 00:37:18,819 --> 00:37:20,290 I DON'T KNOW. MISPLACED IT. 1116 00:37:20,290 --> 00:37:22,292 IS THERE LIKE A PARADISE LOST AND FOUND SOMEWHERE? 1117 00:37:22,292 --> 00:37:24,024 OH. 1118 00:37:24,024 --> 00:37:25,595 IS SOMETHING WRONG? 1119 00:37:25,595 --> 00:37:27,827 YOU'RE SUDDENLY ACTING LIKE EVERY OTHER WOMAN IN MY LIFE. 1120 00:37:27,827 --> 00:37:29,299 MICHELLE? 1121 00:37:29,299 --> 00:37:31,171 YOU TOLD ME THE UKULELE WAS LOST. 1122 00:37:31,171 --> 00:37:32,302 - WHAT? - WHEN I ASKED YOU WHERE IT WAS, 1123 00:37:32,302 --> 00:37:34,174 YOU TOLD ME TO MY FACE THAT IT WAS LOST. 1124 00:37:34,174 --> 00:37:35,835 IT WASN'T LOST. YOU HAD IT THE WHOLE TIME. 1125 00:37:35,835 --> 00:37:37,637 - WHO CARES? - I DO. I WANTED MY UKULELE. 1126 00:37:37,637 --> 00:37:39,839 - THAT WAS LIKE 20 YEARS AGO. - IS THAT YOUR EXCUSE? 1127 00:37:39,839 --> 00:37:41,841 OH JEEZ, I'M SORRY. YOU KNOW, IF YOU MISSED IT THAT MUCH 1128 00:37:41,841 --> 00:37:43,183 MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST BOUGHT A NEW ONE. 1129 00:37:43,183 --> 00:37:44,314 THEY'RE VERY HOT NOW. 1130 00:37:44,314 --> 00:37:46,386 EDDIE VEDDER JUST DID A WHOLE UKULELE ALBUM. 1131 00:37:46,386 --> 00:37:48,188 THAT'S HOW OUT OF IDEAS HE IS. 1132 00:37:48,188 --> 00:37:49,619 - I'LL GET IT FOR YOU FOR CHRISTMAS. - YOU'RE UNDERMINING ME. 1133 00:37:49,619 --> 00:37:50,820 WHAT? HOW? 1134 00:37:50,820 --> 00:37:52,292 YOUR CRACKS, YOUR JOKES IN FRONT OF THE GIRLS. 1135 00:37:52,292 --> 00:37:54,354 I'M BEING FUNNY. IT'S HUMOR. 1136 00:37:54,354 --> 00:37:55,795 IT'S WHAT SETS US APART FROM THE APES. 1137 00:37:55,795 --> 00:37:57,096 THAT WHOLE MARGARET O'BRIEN THING. 1138 00:37:57,096 --> 00:37:58,958 - THAT WAS FUNNY? - I CAN'T-- 1139 00:37:58,958 --> 00:38:00,299 YOU BASICALLY TOLD THEM TO CUT A HOLE IN THE FLOOR 1140 00:38:00,299 --> 00:38:02,061 SO I'LL FALL THROUGH AND PARALYZE MYSELF. 1141 00:38:02,061 --> 00:38:04,363 I DIDN'T TELL THEM TO DO IT. I TOLD THEM THAT YOU WANTED TO DO IT 1142 00:38:04,363 --> 00:38:06,405 TO YOUR TEACHER. I THOUGHT IT WAS A CUTE STORY. 1143 00:38:06,405 --> 00:38:08,908 - YOU WERE PLANTING IDEAS. - I TOLD THEM THE PLOT OF A MOVIE. 1144 00:38:08,908 --> 00:38:11,410 I DID NOT WRITE THE MOVIE. HOW THE HELL AM I THE BAD GUY IN THIS? 1145 00:38:11,410 --> 00:38:12,842 THIS IS MY LIFE NOW, SCOTTY. 1146 00:38:12,842 --> 00:38:14,774 THIS IS MY HOME. THIS IS MY JOB. 1147 00:38:14,774 --> 00:38:16,315 THOSE ARE MY STUDENTS. 1148 00:38:16,315 --> 00:38:19,048 OH BOY. YOU HAVE SNAPPED MANY MANY CAPS, MY FRIEND. 1149 00:38:19,048 --> 00:38:20,149 I'M AN AUTHORITY FIGURE NOW. 1150 00:38:20,149 --> 00:38:21,420 AUTHORITY FIGURE? COME ON. 1151 00:38:21,420 --> 00:38:23,352 - THEY LOOK UP TO ME. - THEY'RE ISOLATED KIDS. 1152 00:38:23,352 --> 00:38:25,184 YOU'RE THIS STRANGE EXOTIC CREATURE. 1153 00:38:25,184 --> 00:38:26,926 YOU'RE A MERMAID. YOU'RE TINKER BELL. 1154 00:38:26,926 --> 00:38:29,058 SO THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE? TO CRAP ALL OVER MY NEW LIFE? 1155 00:38:29,058 --> 00:38:30,189 I WORKED HARD FOR THIS LIFE. 1156 00:38:30,189 --> 00:38:31,831 YOU GOT DRUNK AND MARRIED A GUY. 1157 00:38:31,831 --> 00:38:33,362 - HARD WORK. - HEY! 1158 00:38:33,362 --> 00:38:35,194 WHAT? I'VE DONE IT TOO. NO JUDGMENTS. 1159 00:38:35,194 --> 00:38:36,435 WELL, HE WAS A GREAT GUY. 1160 00:38:36,435 --> 00:38:38,137 AND HIS MOTHER HAS BEEN REALLY REALLY GOOD TO ME. 1161 00:38:38,137 --> 00:38:39,368 - YOU'RE LIVING IN A GUEST HOUSE. - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 1162 00:38:39,368 --> 00:38:41,370 IT MEANS, IT'S A ONE ROOM GUEST HOUSE. 1163 00:38:41,370 --> 00:38:44,843 - FOR A GUEST. - OH, SO SQUARE FOOTAGE IS THE MEASURE OF STABILITY NOW? 1164 00:38:44,843 --> 00:38:46,305 WHAT'S YOUR SQUARE FOOTAGE, SCOTTY, HUH? 1165 00:38:46,305 --> 00:38:47,976 ENJOYING YOUR SIX FEET OF MY COUCH? 1166 00:38:47,976 --> 00:38:49,978 - MATT JOHNSON. - WHAT? 1167 00:38:49,978 --> 00:38:51,780 MATT JOHNSON. HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND IN SCHOOL, 1168 00:38:51,780 --> 00:38:53,312 YOU DATED HIM, AND AS SOON AS YOU GUYS BROKE UP 1169 00:38:53,312 --> 00:38:54,853 HE WOULDN'T TALK TO ME ANYMORE. 1170 00:38:54,853 --> 00:38:55,984 WHAT ARE YOU YAMMERING ABOUT? 1171 00:38:55,984 --> 00:38:57,316 YOU SAID YOU NEVER TOOK ANYTHING FROM ME? 1172 00:38:57,316 --> 00:38:58,457 YOU TOOK MATT JOHNSON. 1173 00:38:58,457 --> 00:39:00,189 I HAVE NO MEMORY OF MATT JOHNSON. 1174 00:39:00,189 --> 00:39:01,320 OH, COME ON, MICHELLE. 1175 00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:03,322 MATT JOHNSON? HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND. 1176 00:39:03,322 --> 00:39:05,193 THE TWO AMIGOS? 1177 00:39:05,193 --> 00:39:07,866 DO YOU MEAN ERIC JOHNSON? 1178 00:39:07,866 --> 00:39:09,097 YES. ERIC JOHNSON. 1179 00:39:09,097 --> 00:39:10,198 - WOW. - DOESN'T CHANGE WHAT HAPPENED. 1180 00:39:10,198 --> 00:39:11,199 HE WAS SO IMPORTANT TO YOU 1181 00:39:11,199 --> 00:39:12,371 YOU COULDN'T REMEMBER HIS NAME. 1182 00:39:12,371 --> 00:39:13,472 PERHAPS I BLACKED IT OUT. TOO MUCH TRAUMA. 1183 00:39:13,472 --> 00:39:15,434 JUST OWN UP TO IT, SCOTTY. 1184 00:39:15,434 --> 00:39:17,175 - TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY. - WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH-- 1185 00:39:17,175 --> 00:39:19,237 YOU NEVER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANYTHING. 1186 00:39:19,237 --> 00:39:21,039 OH, SAYS THE GIRL WHO SET EVERY FLOAT ON FIRE 1187 00:39:21,039 --> 00:39:22,310 AT THE FOURTH OF JULY PARADE WITH A CIGARETTE 1188 00:39:22,310 --> 00:39:23,912 AND BLAMED IT ON RAP MUSIC. 1189 00:39:23,912 --> 00:39:25,483 WHY DIDN'T YOU MAKE ME GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL? 1190 00:39:25,483 --> 00:39:27,315 - YOU DID GRADUATE. - NO. 1191 00:39:27,315 --> 00:39:29,117 - I WAS THERE. - THAT WAS THE CEREMONY. 1192 00:39:29,117 --> 00:39:30,719 I DIDN'T HAVE THE CREDITS TO GET THE DIPLOMA. 1193 00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:31,850 OH, BUMMER. 1194 00:39:31,850 --> 00:39:33,391 YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE ME GRADUATE. 1195 00:39:33,391 --> 00:39:35,393 IT WAS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO MAKE SURE I WAS PREPARED FOR LIFE. 1196 00:39:35,393 --> 00:39:36,995 - WHY ME? - YOU'RE MY BIG BROTHER. 1197 00:39:36,995 --> 00:39:38,326 BY A YEAR! 1198 00:39:38,326 --> 00:39:39,998 ALL I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO WAS MAKE SURE YOU HAD BEER. 1199 00:39:39,998 --> 00:39:41,459 WHY IS THIS FUNNY? WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS FUNNY? 1200 00:39:41,459 --> 00:39:44,202 BECAUSE ALL I WANTED WAS A KEY. 1201 00:39:44,202 --> 00:39:45,333 THAT'S ALL. 1202 00:39:45,333 --> 00:39:47,005 AND SUDDENLY YOU'RE FREAKING OUT 1203 00:39:47,005 --> 00:39:48,867 AND YOU SAID UKULELE LIKE 60 TIMES 1204 00:39:48,867 --> 00:39:51,269 AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY WE'RE HAVING THIS ARGUMENT. 1205 00:39:51,269 --> 00:39:53,411 DON'T DO THAT. THAT IS SO MOM. 1206 00:39:53,411 --> 00:39:55,313 SHE STARTS STUFF, AND THEN WHILE YOU'RE STANDING THERE 1207 00:39:55,313 --> 00:39:57,115 YELLING AND SCREAMING AND PULLING YOUR HAIR OUT, 1208 00:39:57,115 --> 00:39:58,846 SHE SAYS "I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY WE'RE HAVING THIS ARGUMENT" 1209 00:39:58,846 --> 00:40:00,918 WHEN SHE KNOWS DAMN WELL WHY YOU'RE HAVING THE ARGUMENT. 1210 00:40:00,918 --> 00:40:02,920 SHE'S THE ONE WHO STARTED THIS ARGUMENT IN THE FIRST PLACE. 1211 00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:04,782 HOW DID WE SUDDENLY GET TO MOM? 1212 00:40:04,782 --> 00:40:06,324 - YOU BROUGHT HER UP. - I DID NOT BRING HER UP. 1213 00:40:06,324 --> 00:40:07,855 WELL, BY BEING LIKE HER, YOU BROUGHT HER UP. 1214 00:40:07,855 --> 00:40:09,126 YOU DON'T EVEN DEAL WITH MOM. 1215 00:40:09,126 --> 00:40:10,188 I DEAL WITH MOM. 1216 00:40:10,188 --> 00:40:11,329 MOM NEEDS MONEY, I DEAL WITH IT. 1217 00:40:11,329 --> 00:40:13,190 MOM NEEDS TO MOVE, I DEAL WITH IT. 1218 00:40:13,190 --> 00:40:15,192 MOM NEEDS HELP HIDING OUT FROM THE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES, 1219 00:40:15,192 --> 00:40:16,464 I DEAL WITH IT! 1220 00:40:16,464 --> 00:40:17,865 WHY WAS MOM HIDING OUT FROM THE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES? 1221 00:40:17,865 --> 00:40:19,337 IT'S A LONG STORY AND THEY'RE A VERY 1222 00:40:19,337 --> 00:40:20,938 NON-VIOLENT ORGANIZATION SO IT TAKES A LOT 1223 00:40:20,938 --> 00:40:22,269 TO GET THEM TO THE POINT 1224 00:40:22,269 --> 00:40:23,340 WHERE THEY ARE SOMEONE YOU HAVE TO HIDE OUT FROM. 1225 00:40:23,340 --> 00:40:24,872 WELL, THAT'S YOUR CHOICE. 1226 00:40:24,872 --> 00:40:26,944 I WASHED MY HANDS OF ALL THAT A LONG TIME AGO. 1227 00:40:26,944 --> 00:40:28,345 YES, I KNOW. HOW LONG'S IT BEEN 1228 00:40:28,345 --> 00:40:30,478 - SINCE YOU TALKED TO MOM? - 12 GLORIOUS FUN-FILLED YEARS. 1229 00:40:30,478 --> 00:40:32,349 OH, VERY MATURE, BY THE WAY. 1230 00:40:32,349 --> 00:40:33,811 NOT MUCH HAS CHANGED. 1231 00:40:33,811 --> 00:40:35,452 YOUR ADDRESS, YOU GO TO A JOB EVERY DAY, 1232 00:40:35,452 --> 00:40:37,314 - BUT NOT MUCH ELSE. - YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 1233 00:40:37,314 --> 00:40:39,987 YEAH, IT TOOK ME WAY LONGER TO FIGURE THINGS OUT THAN IT SHOULD HAVE, 1234 00:40:39,987 --> 00:40:41,318 BUT LOOK AT THE ROAD MAP I HAD TO FOLLOW. 1235 00:40:41,318 --> 00:40:43,460 THE BIRDS ATE ALL THOSE BREADCRUMBS, HANSEL. 1236 00:40:43,460 --> 00:40:45,863 AND BOY, DO I NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT ALL THE STUFF 1237 00:40:45,863 --> 00:40:47,865 YOU HAVE TO PUT UP WITH WITH THAT CRAZY WOMAN. 1238 00:40:47,865 --> 00:40:50,868 BECAUSE I'VE DEALT WITH MORE THAN A LIFETIME'S WORTH OF CRAP FROM HER. 1239 00:40:50,868 --> 00:40:52,529 HER OBSESSION WITH HER FACE AND HER LOOKS, 1240 00:40:52,529 --> 00:40:53,831 AND MY FACE AND MY LOOKS. 1241 00:40:53,831 --> 00:40:55,132 AND HER COMPLETELY FICTIONAL TAKE 1242 00:40:55,132 --> 00:40:56,533 ON WHAT OUR FAMILY WAS. 1243 00:40:56,533 --> 00:40:59,206 AND IF YOU CHOOSE TO CONTINUE HAVING NEGATIVE INFLUENCES 1244 00:40:59,206 --> 00:41:00,878 IN YOUR LIFE, THEN YOU HAVE TO PREPARE YOURSELF 1245 00:41:00,878 --> 00:41:02,339 FOR THE CONSEQUENCES. 1246 00:41:02,339 --> 00:41:04,211 YOU KNOW WHO TOLD ME THAT? FANNY, MY MOTHER-IN-LAW. 1247 00:41:04,211 --> 00:41:06,083 SHE TOLD ME THAT YOU MAKE YOUR OWN FAMILY. 1248 00:41:06,083 --> 00:41:07,344 YOU MAKE YOUR OWN DESTINY. 1249 00:41:07,344 --> 00:41:09,016 AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CANNOT CHANGE 1250 00:41:09,016 --> 00:41:10,217 IF YOU ARE COMPLETELY COMMITTED TO IT. 1251 00:41:10,217 --> 00:41:11,348 AND I AM. 1252 00:41:11,348 --> 00:41:13,220 I AM COMPLETELY COMMITTED TO IT. 1253 00:41:13,220 --> 00:41:15,222 AND IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU BELIEVE IT OR NOT, 1254 00:41:15,222 --> 00:41:17,994 THE ADDRESS HAS CHANGED AND MY LIFE HAS CHANGED. 1255 00:41:17,994 --> 00:41:19,996 - FINE. - I CAN DO THIS. 1256 00:41:26,863 --> 00:41:28,865 ( tuning ukulele ) 1257 00:41:52,358 --> 00:41:54,360 ( strumming ukulele ) 1258 00:41:55,361 --> 00:42:00,867 ♪ I KNOW I KNOW YOU BELONG ♪ 1259 00:42:00,867 --> 00:42:05,872 ♪ TO SOMEBODY NEW ♪ 1260 00:42:05,872 --> 00:42:08,344 ♪ BUT TONIGHT ♪ 1261 00:42:08,344 --> 00:42:11,878 ♪ YOU BELONG TO ME ♪ 1262 00:42:15,351 --> 00:42:20,216 ♪ ALTHOUGH WE'RE APART ♪ 1263 00:42:20,216 --> 00:42:22,888 ♪ YOU'RE A PART ♪ 1264 00:42:22,888 --> 00:42:25,221 ♪ OF MY HEART ♪ 1265 00:42:25,221 --> 00:42:27,363 ♪ BUT TONIGHT ♪ 1266 00:42:27,363 --> 00:42:29,895 ♪ YOU BELONG ♪ 1267 00:42:29,895 --> 00:42:30,926 ♪ TO ME ♪ 1268 00:42:34,900 --> 00:42:37,373 ♪ WAY DOWN ♪ 1269 00:42:37,373 --> 00:42:39,375 ♪ BY THE STREAM ♪ 1270 00:42:39,375 --> 00:42:41,337 ♪ HOW SWEET ♪ 1271 00:42:41,337 --> 00:42:44,209 ♪ IT WILL SEEM ♪ 1272 00:42:44,209 --> 00:42:45,681 ♪ ONCE MORE ♪ 1273 00:42:45,681 --> 00:42:48,343 ♪ JUST TO DREAM ♪ 1274 00:42:48,343 --> 00:42:51,687 ♪ IN THE MOONLIGHT ♪ 1275 00:42:51,687 --> 00:42:54,219 ♪ MY HONEY, I KNOW ♪ 1276 00:42:54,219 --> 00:42:57,352 ♪ I KNOW IN THE DAWN ♪ 1277 00:42:57,352 --> 00:42:59,695 ♪ THAT YOU ♪ 1278 00:42:59,695 --> 00:43:02,227 ♪ WILL BE GONE ♪ 1279 00:43:02,227 --> 00:43:04,229 ♪ BUT TONIGHT ♪ 1280 00:43:04,229 --> 00:43:06,361 ♪ YOU BELONG ♪ 1281 00:43:06,361 --> 00:43:07,703 ♪ TO ME ♪ 1282 00:43:07,703 --> 00:43:10,505 ♪ JUST TO LITTLE OLD ME. ♪ 1283 00:43:19,244 --> 00:43:20,515 NO! DO IT AGAIN, JORDAN! 1284 00:43:22,217 --> 00:43:23,678 NO. AGAIN. 1285 00:43:28,683 --> 00:43:30,225 YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS, JORDAN. 1286 00:43:30,225 --> 00:43:31,226 COME ON. 1287 00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:36,361 YES. 1288 00:43:41,696 --> 00:43:43,498 I'LL BE BETTER AFTER A BANANA.